Living Life One Day At A Time

Jamaica Mon!!!

2010-05-24T15:28:00.000-04:00

Yes people in 5 days I will" be jammin" in Montego Bay, Jamaica. This will be my 3rd trip to the Island. Joining me is my beautiful dauTghter (who is my caregiver) for the week. Also going for the week is my longtime friend Brenda and her son who is the same age as my daughter. I have known Brenda since high school, we have shared an apartment together, bought a house together, and raised are kids together. So yes we are very close friends.

Things will be a little different on this holiday for me. My legs are still not working the best since having a relapse at the beginning of the m onth, so I will be relying more on Daizy my scooter to get me around and getting Ally to help me with other things I may need. Going on vacation and spending time with my daughter and close friend has really lifted my spirits on the way back from relapse land. I was so upset when my legs stopped working at first, crying into my pillow at night. Then every day slowly I could walk a few steps before weakness and fatigue would set in. As of today I can walk around my apartment once again. Walking outside is very challengeing because almost whereever you walk nothing is completely flat. You wouldn't think flatness would make a difference, but it really does. Excitment fills me when thinking in 5 days I will be in the land of Palm trees and Carribean breezes, with drink in hand.

Awwwwww yes it will be perfect. I will be blogging with my tales of Jamaica when I get back.

until then,

I wish you well................

Dear Blog..............sorry for my absense

2010-04-07T11:42:00.002-04:00

Yes it has been 10 months since my last post. The good thing being is that I have a few things to write about. Also I received an email from a gentleman whose sister has MS and has a hard time dealing with everything that comes from it. My motto is an exert from the movie Forest Gump "Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what ya are gonna get".

Now let's play catchup. Hubby and I sold our house and moved into an apartment last November. This apartment complex is wheelchair accessable and we could bring the dogs. I couldn't move anywhere without them they are my kids. This apartment welcomes pets, and has lots of grass area outside for them to do their business. The apartment is close to shopping malls, with one of them just being across the street. Major bonus for me as I can get out into the world again on my scooter. I feel comfortable here. Hubby on the other hand is having a harder time adjusting to apartment life. He likes to keep busy and since he is retired there is not much for him to do in an apartment. I am hoping as more time goes along he will adjust to it better.

Last year at Xmas my good friend Wanda wanted to go away for a holiday. Of course I had to be a friend and go with her. She had not been away at Xmas before. We went back to Cuba to Manzanillo de Cuba. It is in southern region of Cuba and only 90 klms from Jamaica. We had a great time, with beautiful weather. We went for only a week and I wished we had of gone for two weeks. Definately a resort I would go back to. It had a swim up bar which is always a plus and such a friendly staff, I would love to go back there.

Our Canadian winter this year really wasnt much of a winter. Most of the snow missed us, while to the south of us got battered with one snow storm after another. Over the last couple of weeks we have been breaking record temperatures here. Hey I am not complaining just observing. This does worry me as our polar ice cap is melting due to global warming. This definately affects our weather, thus the milder temperatures.

As for my health, it has not changed very much. I still get bladder infections which act up the MS every month or two. I now have a standing order at the drug store for one of my anti biotics. I keep thinking that all these infections cannot be good for my kidneys. There is a little light at the end of the tunnel though, I went to Toronto Western Hospital to see a Dr at the Urology department. I have to go for some tests to see if I am a canditate to get a pacemaker put into bladder to make it work. Who would have thought they could do this. The tests get done in June at Toronto General Hospital. Yes I can barely see the light now. Yeahhhhhhh

So here we are in April. Easter has come and gone, the canada geese are back home and spring is in the air! Come on summer! I have a balcony with a chair on it, waiting for me to enjoy :)

It's The Climb

2009-06-19T21:19:00.006-04:00

Miley Cyrus has a song out called "The Climb". Now you can call her her Miley Cyrus or Hannah Montana, she is one in the same. I am past that stage of watching teenbopper shows with my daughter, so I never paid much attention to her till I heard this song on the radio one day, not even knowing it was Miley singing it. She didn't sounds like a teenager. She sounded all grown up.

As I listened to the words in the song, instantly I thought this song had been written about me and the challenges I face every day to put one foot in front of the other. It seems there is always a battle going on in my body and climbing mountains seems to bring it all together somehow. My next challenge will be to go to my daughter's High School Graduation on the 25th June. It will be at the same High School I graduated from many moons ago. Going back in there is like going back in time. It all looks the same as when I left it. I even went out and bought a new dress. There is only a slight problem though. The walk from the front door of the school to the Gymnaisum where the Ceremony is being held is a long walk. Too long in fact for me to walk anymore. I really do not want to go down that hall in a wheelchair, with people looking and many questions from people I will know. Maybe I should just tape a small paragraph to my chest explaining. No no I really wouldn't do something like that but It does give me chuckle to think about it. Then one can look at it another way and hold my shoulders back and my head held high because I did not ask to be given this disabling disease and I am trying to deal with it the best way I can. There will be so many people there I have known for years and haven't seen me mobility impaired. There will be tongues wagging for sure. I think I will just hold my head up high and let the tongues wag, and enjoy my Daughter's Graduation.

Here below are the Lyrics to the song "The Climb". Enjoy.............

I can almost see it
That dream I am dreaming
But theres's a voice inside my head saying
"You'll never reach it
Every step I'm taking
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking

But I gotta keep trying
Gotta keep my head held high

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I am gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down
But no, I'm not breaking

I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most, yeah
Just gotta keep going

And I , I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on

Cause there is always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna want to make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb, yeah

Keep on moving, keep climbing
Keep the faith, baby

Till next time xox

The Swine Flu

2009-05-01T11:31:00.003-04:00

When I think of "Swine Flu" I think of a little piggy with a runny nose, sneezing all over the place. I try to find some humour in everything that comes along. I am quite sane, really I am.

Unfortunately the Swine Flu or the new name of this Influenza called the H1N1 Virus.is no joke. It's origin is Mexico, one of my favorite places to go to. It did not take very long for the spread of this virus hit us here in Ontario, with the return of vacationers from all over Mexico.

It brings me back to 2003 when the SARS Virus paid our Country a visit. Our health system was not prepared for such an breakout, although we have been told now 6 years later we are better prepared this time. We will see.

If you would like to read a little further I have posted below today's latest news of this Outbreak.

1st case of swine flu confirmed in Asia
WHO confirms 331 human cases of virus, at least 10 deaths
Last Updated: Friday, May 1, 2009 | 11:09 AM ET Comments92Recommend41
CBC News
Health officials in Hong Kong confirmed Friday they have found the first case of swine flu in the country, as the World Health Organization reported more confirmed human cases around the world.

Beth Weiman, a lead microbiologist, tests a suspected swine flu sample at the Washington State Public Health Laboratories in Shoreline, Wash. (Elaine Thompson/Associated Press)The H1N1 virus was detected in a Mexican citizen who arrived in Hong Kong via Shanghai on Thursday with a fever, officials said. It is the first confirmed instance of the virus in Asia, where officials have been stepping up precautions to keep the virus from spreading to the continent.

The patient has been isolated in hospital and is in stable condition, officials said. The hotel in Hong Kong where the tourist stayed has been quarantined.

The virus has killed at least 10 people, nine in Mexico and one in the United States, according to the WHO.

"The situation continues to evolve rapidly," the WHO said in a release issued early Friday.

The WHO is reporting 331 confirmed cases in 11 countries:

109 in the United States (one death).
156 in Mexico (nine deaths).
34 confirmed cases in Canada.
13 in Spain.
Eight in the United Kingdom.
Three in Germany.
Three in New Zealand.
Two in Israel.
One in Austria.
One in the Netherlands.
One in Switzerland.
The number of confirmed cases and deaths reported by WHO may not match the numbers reported by countries because they may not yet have reported them to the international health body.

The case in Hong Kong is not yet included in the WHO's official tally, which is based on specific laboratory tests.

New cases found in N.B., Denmark

On Friday, New Brunswick health officials confirmed the province's first case of swine flu — in a woman in her 20s who had recently returned from Mexico — taking Canada's total number of cases to 35. The case is not yet included in the official WHO tally.

Health officials in Denmark also reported on Friday that it had confirmed its first case of the virus.

The WHO raised its global pandemic alert level to five, its second-highest level, on Wednesday. Phase 5 is called when there is human-to-human spread of a virus in at least two countries in one region, according to the organization's pandemic response guidelines.

The classification means a pandemic is imminent and countries must finalize preparations to deal with the outbreak of swine flu, officials said.

The WHO's emergency committee, which can recommend a change to the pandemic alert level, is not scheduled to hold any meetings on Friday, though the committee will convene if the flu outbreaks widens, officials said.

To declare a full-blown pandemic, the WHO would have to be convinced the new virus is spreading in a sustained way among communities in another region besides North America.

Watching for human-to-human spread

WHO spokesman Thomas Abraham told reporters in Geneva on Friday that officials are watching a case in Spain where the patient had not travelled to Mexico. That would indicate human-to-human spread.

"We need to be sure it is actually established in communities," Abraham said, "not just stray cases of a traveller passing it on to one person or two people."

Over the next week, medical experts will be able to get a better understanding of how transmissible the virus is, said Dr. Donald Low, medical director of Ontario's Public Health Laboratories.

The number of specimens being sent for testing in Canadian laboratories is increasing but officials are still waiting to see the number of positive results, Low said.

"This is a brand new disease," Low said. "It's a historic event. Most of us have not lived through a pandemic and we've never been in a situation where we're actually looking as it evolves."

Developing a vaccine against the new disease could take up to six months, Abraham said.

The WHO has been speaking with Swiss drug maker Roche Holding AG, which makes Tamiflu, an antiviral that has proven effective against the virus, about making it available to developing countries deemed in need of supplies, he said.

New cases in Mexico levelling off

Mexico, which is where the outbreak is believed to have started, opted to shut down parts of the country for five days, beginning on Friday, in a bid to control the spread of the illness.

Wearing protective face masks to protect against swine flu contagion, Jaqueline Garcia Gonzalez, right, and Alan Martinez look at each other while waiting in line to be examined by a doctor at a mobile medical brigade set up in downtown Mexico City. (Rodrigo Abd/Associated Press)New cases and suspected deaths in Mexico appear to be leveling off, said Mexican Health Secretary Jose Angel Cordova.

Cordova said the public hospitals that treat roughly half the country admitted just 46 patients with severe flu symptoms on Thursday, down from 212 patients on April 20. "This is encouraging," he said.

Mexican health authorities said Thursday they have confirmed 300 swine flu cases and 12 deaths related to the virus.

Shutting down non-essential government services and private businesses should help further slow the spread of the virus, according to officials.

Mexican President Felipe Calderon said authorities would use the extensive shutdown to consider whether to extend emergency measures or ease some restrictions. The five days include Friday's Labour Day holiday, the weekend, and the Cinco de Mayo observance on Monday, minimizing the disruption.

Mexican officials wanted earlier action

Meanwhile, Mexico's epidemiology chief faulted the WHO and its regional branch, the Pan American Health Organization, for not stepping in earlier.

In a telephone interview with The Associated Press from Mexico City late Thursday, Dr. Miguel Angel Lezana said he is troubled by the response of the PAHO and its parent organization, the WHO, in the early days of the outbreak.

Lezana, director of the National Epidemiology Center, said it notified PAHO on April 16 about the outbreak in Mexico, but that action wasn't taken until eight days later, when the WHO announced the spreading epidemic.

Lezana said that to prevent delays in the future, there should be an investigation of the WHO's handling of the crisis, adding that the public health agency should decide whether it should be an internal or an independent probe.

'Rapid response,' says the WHO

Abraham said the health body had been informed on about April 9 of unusual cases of "suspicious influenza" from Mexico that had begun in late March, but that U.S. and Canadian laboratories identified the virus on April 24, after which the organization responded rapidly.

"Once we knew that this illness was caused by a new influenza virus … we moved into operation within a matter of hours," Abraham said.

WHO chief Dr. Margaret Chan was aboard a flight to the U.S. at the time, but was immediately briefed upon landing, Abraham said. She then cancelled all appointments in order to meet with Mexican and American health authorities, flew back to Geneva the next day and by the evening of April 25 declared to the world that it faced a possible flu pandemic.

"We didn't wait. We notified them in time of this event," Lezana said. He said while Mexico was waiting for the WHO, it tried to stem the outbreak and identify it.

Mexican medical teams interviewed 472 people who may have come into contact with the first known swine flu fatality, Adela Maria Gutierrez, a 39-year-old from Oaxaca. Samples were taken from her and sent to the lab in Canada.

But only 18 people — all hospital workers — were tested for swine flu.

Health workers in Mexico only started visiting the families of victims this week to see if they also contracted the illness.

With files from The Associated Press

Back To The Land Of The Living

2009-04-10T10:21:00.002-04:00

It feels so good to be back in the land of the living once again. I have been down and out with a bladder infection that ended up travelling to my kidneys. Now I have have had bladder infections before but the pain associated with a kidney infection is not one I would like to repeat. The pain on the lower left side of my pain was so bad I had no choice but to take the pain killers the dr prescribed.

A visit to my Urologist confirmed the kidney infection and I was put on a 10 day stint of IV anti-biotics and the dreaded catheter was put in for 3 days. I am on day 7 of the anti-biotics now and starting to feel much better. Of course it aggrevated the MS and left me couchbound once again.

I am usually the type of person who tries to take everything in stride but this time it left me teary eyed, thinking the why me? Why do I constantly have to go through this? I do everything the drs tell me to do. I was in a slump for a few days. Even hubby noticed how quiet I was, it took a few days of the anti-biotic to take effect to make me see any light at the end of the long, dark tunnel. Last week all seems like a blurr now.

Today is Good Friday and the start to our Easter holiday weekend here. I am happy to be feeling much better and looking forward to the kids coming for Easter Dinner . It is always great to see them when they visit. I miss them so much when they are gone. Once a mother always a mother, that never changes.

I wish you all a Happy Easter, spent with the ones you love.

Till next time...........

It Ain't Easy Being Green

2009-03-28T11:09:00.003-04:00

Being green has become a part of my daily life. Recycle, reuse, reduce has been permanently sketched into my brain. Now every can, bottle, boxboard or plastic piece I pick up in my hand, I take a second to decide which of my blue boxes the item goes into.

About six months ago the County in which we live, decided to reduce our weekly garbage bag limit to one bag per household, and to give us a nice new green bin to add to our duties to get rid of our compostables. Seriously folks how does the County expect a family of four to only have one bag of garbage per week? Hubby and I have a hard enough time trying to keep the one bag limit quota per week.

Then there are the items we use that are not recyclable or compostable such as diapers (babies and adults),old rags, clothing, small electric devices, etc. All of these items end up in our garbage bags which puts people over the one bag limit. This is what leads people to dump their garbage at the side of a road or in the countryside.

I am all for "being green". I beleive we have toxins everywhere that we breathe in on a daily basis because we have poluted our planet. Cancer and other diseases have run rampant through our society. We only now are starting to see the damage we have done to our world. Hopefully future generations will be able to breathe clean air.

So yes I will do whatever I can to save our planet.........

Varadero, Cuba 23 February 2009

2009-03-20T13:57:00.000-04:00

Well folks I am back from my Cuban Holiday, all tanned and toasty. The weather in Varadero was great, we had one day of cloud and coolness but no rain what so ever. The Cuban people are just as nice and friendly as they always have been. It has been four years since my last visit to Varadero, and I noticed that in the Varadero town itself a big major cleanup had taken place. The buildings what once what be called condemned in our land have been fixed up with a fresh coat of paint, the streets have been paved, and even wheelchair ramps have been added at the curbs, which is a plus for someone like me in a mobility scooter.

I have also have added a few of my pictures from my trip. One is a side view of our hotel the Gran Caribe Club Puntarena. This hotel is five minutes by taxi to downtown Varadero. The hotel had seven floors to it accessible by three elevators. Only two of the elevators mostly worked when we were there but for two days we were down to one elevator which made guests who could take the stairs if they could not wait or the way I looked it was I was holidays and I do not have to rush for anything. Rooms and hotel was very clean and comfy. The food well.........it is Cuba what else can I say. Food in Cuba is known for its lack of variety and taste in foods. It is a Communist Country and all the hotels get for food is what the Government gives them. I saw bananas only one day which I thought was kinda weird because Cuba is usually plentiful with bananas and besides I usually grab a banana or two at breakfast for the late morning Banana Daiquiris. After talking to the hotel employee who squeezes fresh juice each morning, I was told that after the three Hurricanes that went through last fall the banana plantations were almost wiped out. That explained that. Watermelon and grapefruit was plentiful and also my favorite.

We had quite a adventure one day while on the hunt for tampons. My friend was in dire need so I mentioned to her that I saw a Farmacia not far down the road I was sure they would have them there. So we get a taxi, it was way too far for me to even attempt walking. A few minutes later a white taxi with an elderly white haired Cuban man as the driver. As I got into the back seat of the taxi and sat down all I could see on the steering wheel of his car was a man's tanned hands with very thick almost fur like ,pure white hair covering them. I chuckled to myself and asked the taxi driver to take us to the farmacia down the road. His name was Renee and he spoke fairly good English. We asked Rene if he could wait for us at the farmacia as we would be back uno momento. No luck at this pharmacy as they had nothing for the women's once monthly , well you know what I mean here. We got back into the taxi with Rene and told him they did not have anything for the women's monthly problemo. "Si si si he says" "I take you to another farmacia in Vardero?" Away we went into Varadero on the hunt for a place that sells tampons. We must have gone to at least four other stores with at one the taxi driver went in to find them. Our conclusion was after talking to one pharmacist said Tampons are not used here. It was a good adventure that day and we saw alot of Varadero town off the beaten path. This is the Cuba I want to know more of.

It did not take long till my two week vacation was coming to an end. A good time was had by us four girls and even Daizy(my scooter) made it to Cuba and back without any problems. Viva Cuba!!........

I was back at my home on 10 march at 0400 am. Hubby and puppies were awake and waiting for me to arrive. I missed my hubby, and of course my puppies.

A few days after I am back into my routine at home I get hit with a flare-up which took all my energy, leaving me couch bound until today, when I am feeling much better. This is now six days later. Why did I flare up this time? I wish I had the magic answer there.

One day at a time I tell myself........

Meet Daisy

2009-02-18T12:57:00.000-05:00

Meet Daisy my new three wheel travel scooter. Having this scooter is going to make my life so much easier for getting around. Shopping malls, walking the puppies, and whatever else requires walking. Walking sure is one of those things we take for granted till it is taken away from us. For me and walking I am at the stage where most days I can walk around the house with no problems but as soon as my feet reach outside the house it is a whole new ballgame. Balance can be difficult because of uneven surfaces. This is why I never walk out of the front door without Jose my trustyworthy cane.
I did mention before that I do give all my mobility aids a name which makes it more personal for me.

I will get a chance to try out my new scooter on 23 feb as I am headed to Varadero, Cuba for two weeks with my daughter Ally, my best friend Wanda, and Ally's best friend Jamie. I have been teasing the girls now that I have Daisy they will have to run to keep up with me. I will post again when I get back from holidays and let you all know how Daisy measured up being in Cuba where wheelchairs are still a challenge, never mind a mobility scooter.

In my absence from this blog I have been keeping myself quite busy with an online support group I belong to. I did not realize how long it had been since I posted on here until I received a phone call from my uncle in England wondering if I was alright because I hadn;t posted to the blog in awhile. Thank you dear uncle for the call, it always brightens up my day.

Another bit of good news I would like to share is for a month now I am been bladder infection free. I now take a low dose anti-biotic every day now to prevent them and so far it is doing a great job.

I will post in my return from Cuba

Adios Amigos ................

To My Dear Friend...........

2009-01-11T16:20:00.001-05:00

It has been a year since your passing. I think of you often and the good friend you were to me since we met in Grade 2. You always had a kind word for people, never putting them down. If I told you something in private, it never went further. We went through many life experiences together, laughing and crying along the way. We watched each other's children grow up, and the years went in.

Yet you were taken from this earth too soon at the age of 46. I watched you try to battle the Cancer, but it had spread too far and nothing could be done.

Surrounded by the ones who loved you, we saw you slipping away, the evil Cancer taking you away from us. I had seen this monster before with my father. and knew it was only a matter of time.

I treasure the last day we spent together, exactly one year ago. I sat on a chair beside your bed stroking your hair and wiping the tears from your eyes. Looking into your eyes I knew you could understand me as I spoke gently about our life over the years, the children we gave birth too, and how everything is going to be alright. I told my dear friend how special and loved she was to me and everyone who took the time to see the beautiful person you were inside.

As I left her Hospital room that day, I knew her time was near. It was two hours later I received the call she had passed away.

Today I am teary eyed but knowing my friend will always be in my thoughts........

Merry Xmas From My House To Yours :)

2008-12-25T11:42:00.000-05:00

Here we are at Xmas Day. When hubby and I awoke we had coffee and then opened our gifts from one another. My hubby spoiled me once again with gifts. Turkey has just gone in the oven and the kids should be here any moment.

My friend Brenda and her son will not be joining us as planned as she is sick with the flu. A family Xmas it will be.

So from my house to yours, Have A Very Merry Xmas..................

Twas One Week Before Christmas

2008-12-18T10:55:00.000-05:00

Twas the week before Xmas and all through the house, not a creature was stirring not even a mouse (i think we caught them all). The dogs are asleep in their beds for the day, hubby has gone into town, and that means time to wrap hubby's gifts. I can't beleive it is a week till Xmas.

The good thing is I am all done gift shopping. Almost everything is wrapped now except for the stuff in the kid's stocking so I am ahead of the game. All that is left for Xmas is the grocery shopping for the Xmas dinner.

I am in the Xmas spirit this year, as both of my kiddies will be here as well as one of best friends Brenda and her son Nathan. Both my kids and Brenda's kids are the same age and they all grew up together since kids. I am gonna love having this big house filled with people I love.

As I sit here I have the Xmas songs playing in the background, the snow is lightly falling outside, and the house is looking great with the Xmas tree and gifts beneath it waiting to be opened, and my treasured Xmas decorations hanging around the house. Yes you can certainly feel the Xmas spirit in the air, people seem to be kinder this time of year, I just wish it would last all year.

Gone are the work Xmas parties I used to attend. I used to love getting dressed up and going to them. Wondering what I would wear, whether it was a new dress or one from another year, getting my hair done at the hair dressers, makeup and nails all prettied (is prettied even a word), I guess it is now.

My life is definately alot different now then before. I just celebrate Xmas a little different now. Having family and good friends here on Xmas day surely beats a work Xmas party any day.

My Xmas wish is the be well enough to enjoy the day. I am still plauged with bladder infections every few weeks. These infections also flare up the MS and I couch bound. I see the Urologist in January and I am hoping he can help.

On another note my daughter Ally fractured a couple of ribs two days ago. The glass door at her work slammed on her ribs with a big gust of wind and knocked her down to the ground, the result was two fractured ribs. She spent hours at the emergency room Tuesday night till she was seen by a doctor and Xrays were taken. On Wednesday she came here for some motherly lovin. It is true when they say the kids always come to mommywhen they are sick or injured. It makes me realize my motherly ties never really stop no matter how old they get. I am still needed. Which is ok by me. I miss them when they are not here.

To all of my readers out there I wish you good health and happiness this time of year.

Merry Ho Ho

Politics of Canada Is A Joke

2008-12-08T12:41:00.000-05:00

Yes my dear readers I do beleive our Political Leaders in this great Country of Canada are a joke. Normally I turn a semi-blind eye to politics, as I have always beleived it's all a big game. Now it has turned into the most unbeleivable series of events.

Here is my condensed version:

First of all a new Coalition Goverment forms consisting of the main three opposition parties. These parties sign an agreement to try and overthrow our Prime Minister and his Government. After watching all this unfold on TV, hubby and I wonder how this "Coalition" and overthrow of our Goverment happen. After all we live in Canada right?

We have an electon and votewhom we want to represent our Country. Does this mean nothing now?? It turns out our Governor General of Canada has the final say if these three clowns can overturn our government. I sure would not want to be in her shoes.

After she arrives back to Canada from a trip overseas, her first meeting was to be with Stephen Harper, our Prime Minister. On Mr. Harper's agenda is to ask the Governor General to suspend Parliament till the New Year. This means the newly formed Coalition cannot do anything till the New Year.

We will see what happens in the New Year. As I mentioned before I am not a person who gets involved in Politics, but if this could happen here, in Canada the land of the brave and free, our Government is doomed for sure.

Happy Monday ...........

Winter is Definately Here

2008-11-30T15:53:00.000-05:00

Winter actually happened two weeks ago, and the snow has been coming since. This is way to much snow this early in the season. The one thing I will say is how beuatiful the fallen snow looks on the trees, everything is white and surely gets people into the Christmas Spirit.

Today the kids plus a friend of my daughter's came here yesterday to help me with the Xmass tree decorating. They actually did a very nice job of decorating the tree and I ended up supervising. Yes I have another killer bladder infection once again and after taking a week of anti-biotics it still feels like it is there. Tommorow I will get hubby to take another urnine sample to the drs.

These bladder infections seem to be never ending. It gets me wondering that there has to be something else the drs can do to help prevent them from happening so often or even not at all would make me very happy. Then once the infection is there it stirrs up the MS so its no win battle here. There has to be a better way, somehow.

So now with the Xmas tree up and decorated, I can get hubby involved in helping to wrap the Xmas gifts. He really likes to wrap them. This works for me. The Xnas gift shopping is almost done, through either Sears Catalogue or Avon this year. It works out well for me as I cannot get out to the malls yet with a scooter.

After all its the thought that counts and not exactly where one purchased the gift. As I get older the "gift getting" at Xmas is not as important. I do like to give gifts though. That has never changed over the years.

This Xmas besides our kids being here, my good friend Brenda and her grown kids (which are the same age as mine) will be here as well.

It should be fun.

adios amigos

Darling Daughter Turned 18

2008-11-12T11:23:00.001-05:00

Yesterday was Rememberance Day but it was also my daughter's 18th birthday. She is the baby of the two kids. I can still remember the day she was born eighteen years ago. It was on a Sunday morning when I went into the hospital to be induced with Ally. It was a snow storm that day. Once I got to the hospital and got induced with the gel they use all hell broke loose. After the dr used the gel to hopefully start labour I had to give them a urine sample before I could go back home and wait to see if the gel worked. When I went pee in the bottle it was red with blood. I knew this could not be a good thing.

After showing the nurse my urine bottle she told the dr and back I was in bed. I was strapped across my belly with the baby monitor that tells the heartbeat and any stress on the baby inside. From there blood tests were taken as I watched my blood pressure go higher and higher each time the machine took a reading.

All the blood tests they took showed the Platelet count in my blood dropping rapidly, and that was when the drs decided I had HELLP Syndrome and needed an emergency C-section or else the baby and I would die. It all happened so fast as one minute I was being induced and the next minute I was getting close to death. There was nothing I could do to stop it. It was up to the drs and hospital staff to save me and my child.

I was rushed to the operating room where I was put to sleep not knowing what would happen when I woke up. There was a chance both of us could die in surgery because of this hellp syndrome.

I awoke to all kinds of monitors on me and intravenous lines in both arms. They brought me my little miracle, my daughter and I cried as I held her to my chest. She surely was a miracle baby. The best thing being we were both going to be alive and I would love and take care of this child for hopefully a long time to come.

That was 18 years ago and I never thought I would see the day my daughter turned 18. Today she is a beautiful, young woman who gets her looks from her dad's side of the family but her personality is me all over again. All of her friends call Ally a younger version of me. I just call her "minnie me".

Thinking of her being 18 is sad in one way it means she is growing up but on the other end of the stick I will live on in her.

Now that makes me smile...............

Rest In Peace

2008-11-09T15:03:00.000-05:00

Rest In Peace Brandon Crisp. This 15 year old boy left his home on Thanksgiving evening after a disagreement with his parents over his Xbox 360 game. After days of tireless searches his body was found in a wooded area in my area of Ontario. This makes me sad as I could feel such sadness for the parents of this boy. My friend and I were discussing this and remembering how our sons were at 15 and loved playing their video games. My friend's son played alot more then my son did to the point of having to take the game away from him, just because all he would do is play the game when not in school. Addiction yes it even happens to young teens. The whole world starts to revolve around the video game.

Please read on and read the exert from the news:

Ontario teen died after falling from tree: autopsy
Last Updated: Saturday, November 8, 2008 | 1:43 PM ET
The Canadian Press
Autopsy results on the body of a Barrie, Ont., teen found three weeks after he ran away from home reveal he died of injuries to his chest.

Brandon Crisp, 15, is shown here in an undated family photo. (Barrie Examiner/Canadian Press)
A post-mortem examination on Brandon Crisp, conducted at Ontario's Office of the Chief Coroner in Toronto, shows the injuries are consistent with falling from a tree.

Dental records confirmed the body found by hunters Wednesday in a wooded area north of Barrie was that of the 15-year-old.

Police released the information on Saturday after giving the findings to his family the previous night.

Investigators had ruled out foul play.

Brandon's parents said he fled home following a dispute with them over his obsessive Xbox video-gaming habits.

© The Canadian Press, 2008

# 1 Son

2008-11-02T14:54:00.000-05:00

It has certainly been a weekend that has saw as much good as it did bad. Let me take you back a few days here to Thursday of last week. Happy hubby and I went to see dear family doctor. It is a two for one deal I always tell our family doctor because both of us go into the doctor's office when my name is called. Dear doctor is used to this deal now and goes with it. After our visit with the doctor, the nurse gives us our annual flu shot and we get on our merry way. I even remember commenting to dear doctor how much better I was feeling this month.

This was last Thursday. I awoke Friday morning feeling sluggish and not wanting to get out of bed. Once I convinced my body move out of bed and find the coffee pot downstairs, my body was not acting like it should. My legs were feeling weak and by the time I got downstairs and to the coffee pot I felt so exhausted as if I had ran a major marathon. I did absolutely nothing for the rest of the day, as my body grew weaker still. By the time my son arrived for the weekend, I could not even walk to the door to greet him. The best part through all this was I spent such a great weekend with my son. We talked for hours, which we had not done in so long. I felt I had my son back and it was like old times. He has left now but I am a beaming mom now once again aftering having such a good talk with my son and clearing up alot of things.

To top things off, if not feeling so weak is bad enough I now have another friggin bladder infection as of today. !@#$%^&*@#$%^@#$%^yes people those are curse words at the front of this sentence. My Plague is back. I will start taking the anti biotics today and call dear doctor tommorow.

So there you have it folks...............the good and bad of my weekend

take care :)

Medical Marijuana

2008-10-25T10:52:00.000-04:00

Avatars

This is a subject I have tossed around in my head wondering if I should write about this from my perspective. I have decided to write about it.

It was back in October of 2005 when I was too ill to work anymore. I was in daily pain and hardly able to move. One day my son asked me if I had ever tried pot for my pain. I told him I smoked pot when I was a teenager occasionally but have not tried it for a very long time. He could see how much pain I was in and told me he had heard that marijuana was supposed to be great for releiving pain.

Not too long after our discussion of the pot I was having a bad day and even crying from the pain thinking to myself how much longer I could take this never ending pain. The pain was there all the time. I was hardly sleeping at night and through the day I could hardly move. I wanted it all to end one way or another. Yes folks "One way or another". Thoughts of suicide began appearing in my head. I never fully understood before what would make a person commit suicide. I never looked at it from this angle before. Relentliss paincan make a person see things in a different light. Anything to take it away. I even prayed to God to please make it go away. The suicidal thoughts took me to a place where there was no pain and no bill collectors hounding me all the time. This was going to be a much better place. I even glanced at my prescription pills wondering which pills would just make me go to sleep and never wake up.

Just then my son came home and I immediately realize why my plan of suicide will not happen, my childrenMy son asks me what is for dinner and that is all it takes for me to realize I am mom and still needed by children. Then I remembered my son saying "please try the marijuana mom, just once and if it doesn't help I will never ask you again". I gave in and asked him to fix me up.

A little while later my son asks me to close my eyes and hold out my hand. I did and when I opened my eyes there was a marijuana joint in my hand. Hoping this would at least take an edge of my pain level, I lit up the joint and enhaled. One puff and it all came back to me, how to smoke this joint. Three puffs I took. Within ten minutes I felt the pleasant rush start at the top of my head and work it's way down through all the places where my pain was. My pain level was dropping immensly. A half hour later my pain level had dropped to the point it was barely noticeable. I had found a miracle is all I could think.

Since then I have spent countless hours on the internet researching Marijuana for Medical use. I have also become a Health Canada licensed user. This plant that grows from the earth chemcial free has been my saviour. It has to make a person wonder why it is an illegal drug unless you have a license from Health Canada. After all it is just a plant.

I also know there are still mixed feelings regarding the use of marijuana. We all have our own opinions and this is just my story how marijuana saved my life.

Ma Amiga Sonia

2008-10-19T20:22:00.001-04:00

In the above picture on the left hand side with the red vest on is my friend Sonia from Guardalavaca Cuba. Sonia was one of the waitresses at Club Amigo where us ladies stayed in Feb-2007. We immediately struck a friendship and have been writing letters back and forth since then. Sonia and I come from totally different lifestyles. The part of Cuba that she lives in is very remote where time has stood still compared to Canada. I can still remember being in the taxi on the way back to the airport for my flight home to Canada and seeing men working in the farm fields with donkeys and horses, and trucks from the 1940's still being used. It was like living back in their time as we drove on past. I did find it fascinating though. Seeing other cultures and how they live has always been a passion of mine. Again I think it the "Travel Agent" in me.

Speaking of Travel Agents my good friend Sheryl who is on her around the world adventure, is on her leg of her travels in Africa and on a 3 month safari as I type this. Talk about exciting!!!!!!! I would give anything to be with her right now.

On that note it is time to go curl up on the couch with my puppies

ttfn...........

Thanksgiving 2008

2008-10-14T11:13:00.000-04:00

Thanksgiving 2008 saw the good the bad and the ugly. Let us start with the good. To hubby and my surprise we had both the kiddies for Thanksgiving this year. We thought it would be just the two of us. We had no big turkey dinner planned as we thought the son would be going to his fathers for dinner and the daughter was supposed to be working. It turned out that son was not going to his dads or that daughter was working. It surely made me happy knowing they would be both here at the same time.

Last minute dinner plan was pork chops on the BBQ, I baked a chocolate cake, and all of sat down to eat the thanksgiving meal together as a family. Poor darling daughter was so stuffed up with a cold she could barely taste the food.

When I asked her why she drove an hour to come and see me when she felt so sick was "mom i miss you and wanted to see you" Awwwwwwww just the words I wanted to hear. It is true when kids are sick all they want is their mom no matter what age they are.

Now comes the bad part of the day. An hour or so after dinner happy hubby heads to the downstairs bathroom to you know............well I guess the toilet and the pipes under the bathroom sink started to make a gurgling noise as hubby still sitting on the toilet seat starts to feel warm water on his butt. Toilet is overflowing like Niagara Falls. With a shout from the hubby he exits the bathroom as the sewage flows out of the bathroom and down the hall. Talk about a @#$%^& mess.

It turns out the septic tank was full to the brim. Usually it would not be a problem to find someone to come and pump out the septic tank. This was thanksgiving weekend though. Finally we found someone to come yesterday around 4pm. Until then we could not run water at all, not even flushing a toilet. You can imagine how relieved I was to see the septic tank truck pulling into our driveway. At this point I did not care how much it was going to cost to get this septic tank pumped dry. About an hour later the septic truck guy was done and the pipes in the house can run freely again.

So there you have it folks......the good, the bad and the ugly

September Came and Went

2008-10-03T14:07:00.000-04:00

The month of September seems to be a blurr. It was spent with back to back bladder infections from hell. How does this happen? The only thing I can think of is the first bladder infection never fully went away. A few days after the first round of anti-biotics were finished, it came back with a vengence. I managed to get into see my Urologist in between infections. He prescribed me with a differnt stronger anti-biotic to see if it works better. He also gave me repeats on the prescription if needed and to come back and see him in three months.

As of today I can finally say things are getting back to normal in the bladder department. Also today my friend from Ohio has headed back to the States after a two day visit with her boyfriend who lives south of here. Sunday she actually drives back to her home.

When she got here a month ago I had not seen her for over two years so we had alot of catching up to do. I cried when she arrived and when she left today I cried again. We had a great time together even though I was sick for most of it. Her and I have so much in common it is almost scarey. I will miss her and wish her well in her travels.

My house is so quiet at the moment. Doggies are doing their usualy sleep thing and hubby has gone to do some errands.

This coming week I am hoping on a visit from my son who is on a work shutdown for a week. Darling daughter is working alot of hours at her new job so I hope to see her one day next week.

Fall is definately in the air here. The leaves have mostly all changed their color and falling to the ground. The air is crispy cool. I am not looking forward to the upcoming winter. Cold and snow are not things I enjoy. I become like a hibernating animal awaiting the arrival of spring.

I think I will sign off this for now, find my blankie and watch a movie.

Happy Trails..........

Nasty Bladder Infection

2008-09-17T11:16:00.000-04:00

This is me to a tee. I have been so sick since last Friday with the Bladder Infection from hell. I felt it coming on Thursday night and by Friday it had set in full force. I started taking the snti-biotics on the Friday and by Saturday I could barely walk. Come Sunday the MS reared its ugly head and I was down for the count. Absolutely no energy, I could hardly walk to the washroom with my walker which left my hubby to take care of me.

Today is Wednesday and I feel well enough to write this post. It is an awful feeling when I can't walk and the inside of me feels like it is dying. To top it all of my family dr was no help. After hubby calling his office a few times yesterday we still have no nurse coming to see me. The only way I would make it to see a dr is by ambulance as there is no energy to even make it to the car to go see a dr. Now my family dr is on holidays for 2 weeks. Lets just say I am not impressed with my dr at all right now.

If I wasn't feeling any better today I was headed for the hospital via ambulance. So far today is better then yesterday so I will see how the day goes.

I have my friend from Ohio, USA visiting with me for the month, and with me being so sick I feel like a rotten host. I haven't been able to take her anywhere and do anything which makes me feel bad. All I have been doing since Friday is sleeping it seems and when I am awake all I do is lay on the couch lifeless, not even wanting to talk cause it takes energy to even do that.

One thing I have in my favour is my friend is here for the whole month so we will have time to chat and do some things. She is a good friend to me and we are very much alike in ways.

You will find I have added another web site to my favorites. Its called findingsheryl.com. This is another one of my bestest friends who is travelling the world and posting it on her site complete with her "Babble" and cool pictures. She even has a map on her site showing all the places they have been. It is a really cool site.

The weather has been quite cool here for the end of summer. Wait, we didn't have summer yet and here we are in the middle of September, something is wrong with this picture. Summer here was very short lived with more rainly days then sunny ones.
I can picture sunny warm days in my head, waiting for holidays in the sunny south.

Maybe in February.............

I Saw Bare Naked Ladies!!!!

2008-09-05T13:42:00.001-04:00

Yes you read the title right, I did see Bare Naked Ladies last night. It's not what some of you are thinking I bet. We went to Casino Rama to a concert and saw the singing group "Bare Naked Ladies". I have been a fan of their music for years and the best part is the Casino is only a couple of minutes down the road from our house.

The shows start time was 8pm. Yesterday afternoon I started thinking how much of distance it is from the front door of the casino to where the concerts are held. Almost trying to talk myself out of going because I knew my legs would not let me walk the distance needed.

My happy hubby knows me better then I even know myself at times and clued in that something was wrong. I told him my sad tale about not being able to walk that distance anymore and he simply replied he was already aware of this and was planning to get a wheelchair for me once we dropped off the car at the valet parking at the front door of the casino. With his calm voice he reassured me this is the best idea to get me to and from the concert hall. It was only two years ago I could walk this distance with my hubby when we went to other concerts there.

Once I got off my pitty party trip I had a wonderful time last night. We both enjoyed the concert ememcely. I sang to the songs i knew and loved wishing the concert would never end. It certainly was a good nite.

On another note I am happily awaiting my friend from Ohio to arrive at our home on Sunday.

Adios Amigos.................

A Day Of Much Needed Rest

2008-08-29T10:39:00.000-04:00

Today will be a much needed day of rest. It has been a whirlwind of a week. A week ago the daughter arrived with four of her friends at our house. There was three 17 year old girls and one 17 year old boy who has total claim on one of the girls being he is the "boyfriend". I am sure he is in his element being surrounded by all the "pretty girls". What hot blooded male wouldnt?

They "chilled out" with hubby and I for a few days. I actually enjoy "hangin" with them. They are all good kids. Well I call them kids. I have also been picking up the slang language they use for different things. Every generation seems to make up different slang words for just about anything. This is our future generation of adults in the making. When I look back on my teenager years I realize that I was not much different then as they are now. The circle of life.

One thing we did notice when they all left was how empty our refrigerator and cuboards were. All teenagers are the same when it comes to food, they all have very healthy appetites. Hubby and I are still laughing over this. The other thing we noticed was how quiet the whole house got. So deafly quiet you could hear a pin drop. We did love having them here.

Two days later the daughter comes back with one of her friends in tow. It did not stay quiet for long. It was time for back to school shopping. Yesterday hubby drops the three of us off in front of Walmart and says "call me when your done". He knows once we get in there we could be awhile. Very smart man he is. Walmart even had a scooter there for me to use which helped greatly. It was a successful shopping adventure at Walmart. As I write this post, hubby is driving the girls back as school starts on Tuesday.

Summer is coming to an end. I will be happy when we move to Mexico where it is summer all year round.

I really need to rest today, the past week has left me drained of energy and increased my pain level to unacceptable limits. Trying to walk in the house the last few days is challenging, my body does not want to work. My brain says one thing and the body does not follow. Very frustrating. On that note I will sign off for now but I will be back.

Till next time............

Family

2008-08-21T11:42:00.000-04:00

Family as always been very important to me. My parents immigrated from England and Scotland so most of the relatives were across the pond. I had one aunt and uncle and two cousins here in Canada and that was it. Growing up we got together with them a couple of times per year usually on a Sunday.

Now that I have my own family I try to express to my kids the importance of family. My own family has gotten bigger due to the birth of my grandson. I had thought being a grandma would be special but it is turning into a nightmare due to my son's live in girlfriend. Without going into much detail I will just say she is just pure evil and it is like my son's side of the family does not exist. This makes it very hard to see my grandson. I was so looking forward to being a grandma to him and now it just makes me sad. All I can hope is this situation gets better in the future but for now I can't see that happening.

Last weekend I had the pleasure of having both of my kids here. It was a wonderful treat to be able to have them both together at one time. We celebrated my son's 21rst birthday and I also got to hug my son as much as I wanted to. This is also a no no to hug my son according to the girlfriend. I have always shown affection to my kids and always will. So I took full advantage of it :)

In a few days my daughter will be back for a visit for a few days with 3 other friends in tow. Good thing we have a big house. All these teenagers are good kids so its a pleasure to have them here and just hang out. I can't be so bad of a person if they want to come here.

More company to follow on 07 September. My girlfriend from the states is coming to pay me a visit. She is driving up here from Ohio. Last time I saw her was when she lived in Las Vegas and I visited her there in April 2005. My friend has Lupus which has alot of the same symptoms of Multiple Schlerocis. It works for me as we both have restrictions on what we can and cannot do. It will be great to have some female company for abit and I look forward to her visit.

Other then that I am still feeling good and in remission, trying to enjoy the few weeks of summer we have left up here.

Until next time...........

Ipod

2008-08-12T16:05:00.000-04:00

Yes I have returned for now folks!!!!!

Phone and internet is working better then it did. Geeky tech boy from the phone company came and patchedthe problem. It seems we need a whole new phone line installed from a mile away north to our place. But for now it is working better. Geeky tech boy did a good job.

Now please don't get me wrong here, I am not trying to insult geeky tech boys and let me explain further. This guy from the phone company looked maybe 17 in my eyes, had the geeky tech style glasses and the vocabularly of a higher being then myself. It sounded all like another language when he was explaining what it could or couldn't be. Also I am very thankful for all the techie type people out there or else I would still be pouting because my internet would'nt work.

Since my last post I have discovered the wonderful world of Ipod and Itunes. I am the proud owner of an 8gb Ipod Nano. At first glance of this almost credit card sized object I wondered two things, one being its much too small to get exceptional sound quality from and two being will I even be able to operate it. Technology moves so fast these days its hard to keep up with it.

So as I am sitting down looking at it I decide to challenge myself to make this Ipod work. Now people let me tell you something here, thinking how I was going to operate it was one thing but when I actually tried to make it work I felt like an octupus with 8 legs. No one told me the secret to the Ipod. It is all in the touch. A very sensitive touch at that. Gone are the days when we had to push all kinds of button to get our portable music devices to work. Once I became very gentle with the Ipod I suceeded, along with asking my daughter how to turn the volume up and down and why won't the plug from the bottom of the Ipod come out when I pull it. No one told me I have to give it a little squeeze on the side.

I have become a downloading music fool since Sunday and getting the music onto the Ipod. I did not like the ear phones (buds) at first but is tolerable now. As for the sound quality of the music on it, well it is most excellent. No wonder all these people are walking around with these Ipods strapped into their ears. It is a very enjoyable experience to be able to put all your favorite music in one large storage place that plays with such good sound quality. Not only is it a big storage/player device for music but also for your digital photos. Very genious indeed.

Many happy hours will be spent on the deck with Ipod in tow.

ciao!!

Phone and Internet Troubles

2008-08-08T10:56:00.000-04:00

I am having with my phone and internet at the moment. I am in "battle" mode with them. Since we moved to our new house in May it has been an issue. Its getting worse now so hopefully the phone company will get their ass in gear and fix it.

I will be back!!!!

take care till then...............

Thats What Friends Are For

2008-08-01T10:29:00.000-04:00

I have a few people I consider "good friends". Since my journey with MS began a few of my friends have stayed with me along the way. My friend Wanda I consider to be one of them. Her and I have travelled together, shared much laughter and sorrows together. She is also one of the people I would share a secret with, knowing the secret would remain safe with her. These kind of friends are very rare to find.

Wanda is on holidays this week. She arrived at my house on Sunday and stayed till Tuesday. She is the kind of guest you can tell to help herself to whatever she wants in the house and like me loves sitting on our back deck on a sunny day. Perfect kind of guest in my book. We had a good visit when she was here and even went out for a drive to another town to check a favorite store we both like.

Just to be able to talk to another female was wonderful. I was sad to see her go but also knowing she will be back sometime.

On another note the drs office called on Tuesday, yes I have another bladder infection

I got to thinking............hummmmm took urine sample in 6 days ago and only now getting the results back. Which to me means I have had this infection floating around in my system for 6 days now untreated. That be good on the kidneys and bladder. My dr agrees and is going to contact my Urologist to see if I can be on some kind of lose dose anti-biotic taken every day to try and keep these infections down to small roar. It makes sense to me. Also whenever I feel like I have a bladder infection I will get hubby to take the urine sample into the drs office and he will give me a antyi-biotic then to get going in my sample before the urine sample comes back positive for infection.

I have spent two nights of waking up through the nite literally soaked in sweat. I am hoping that the drugs are kicking butt on the infection. I am tired I need more sleep. My back is aching where my kidneys are. All I can think is please go away soon!!!!!!

So with our health system here I am still waiting for either my family drs office or Urologist to call. This is Friday.

Maybe I will give them a call and rattle some chains................

till next time

An Interesting Study

2008-07-26T12:42:00.000-04:00

Milestone in clinical trials for cannabis

07:00 - 25-July-2008

PLYMOUTH researchers have reached a milestone in a clinical trial studying the effects of cannabis on multiple sclerosis (MS).

The Cupid (Cannabinoid Use in Progressive Inflammatory brain Disease) study at the Peninsula Medical School has recruited a full cohort of 493 people with MS to the study.

Cupid is a clinical trial which will evaluate whether tetrahydrocannabinol (THC), one of many compounds found in the in the cannabis plant, is able to slow the progression of MS.

Professor John Zajicek, who heads the Cupid study team, said: "We are delighted to have achieved the correct number of patient participants for this trial.

"Patients have been recruited from 27 sites across the UK. If we are able to prove beyond reasonable doubt the link between THC and the slowing down of progressive MS, we will be able to develop an effective therapy for the many thousands of MS sufferers around the world."

Waiting For The Dr To Call

2008-07-25T12:45:00.000-04:00

As I write this post I am waiting for the dear drs office to call. Hubby took another urine sample in to get tested for a bladder infection. Once again I have contractions in my bladder that feel like I am gonna give birth to it. This usually means infection.

Thank goodness for the wonderful red pills (phenazo) that I always have on hand for this reason. These pills numb the bladder so it reduces the pain. Whoever invented them I am eternally grateful. My energy has gone to another planet today, so I will rest.

My darling daughter is here for a few days so I have delegated her some chores to do for me around the house as my good friend is coming for a visit for a few days. Time for good gab sessions with her. I am hoping the weather will be good when she is here so we can be outside as much as possible. My friend is a sun worshipper like me. It will be good to have some company in the house. Sometimes I feel caged in this big house, with not being able to get out of this house as much as I used to. Life is one change after another. I try to go with the flow of things but the odd day I still mourn for the job I loved. I also miss the interesting people I would meet.

What I should do when I am feeling melancoly like this is to look at all the wonderful things in life I still will do. Such as watching my grandson grow up and hopefully making the big move to Mexico. The best thing is being with my hubby as we tackle whatever comes our way together. I thank my lucky stars everyday for bringing this man into my life.

Ta Ta for now...............

Move to Mexico 2009

2008-07-21T11:10:00.000-04:00

For sometime now hubby and I have talked about leaving Ontario and moving to Mexico somewhere on the Pacific Coast. We both love a little town called Bucerias which is 40 minutes from Puerto Vallarta. Every time we go to Puerto Vallarta for a holiday we always make a trip to two into Bucerias. We thought this was the area we would like to make the "big move" to but there are so many coastal towns and cities along the Pacific Coast to choose from.

So begins the search on where to live in Mexico. We have both agreed so far we want to be living oceanfront or very close to the ocean. The house would have to be physically suitable for me (bungalow would be perfect). Also the house has to have a pool. We both love to be in the water. At the hotel we usually stay in when we go to Puerto Vallarta has a good size jacuzzi heated pool with the swim up bar. This is where we can usually be found most of the time. So at the very least we want the pool at our place of residence in Mexico.

Hubby and I have spent countless hours on the computer looking at real estate up and down the Pacific Coast. The biggest choice we need to make at this time is to decide where we want to live and concentrate everything else around this. Another thing we have to consider is the dogs, we want them to be happy in their new home as well.

Aside from looking at real estate in Mexico, there is Health Care to consider as well. With me having MS we would have to be somwhere close to a city to get treatments etc. From what I have been reading, Mexico has alot of excellent Doctors.

Another thought we have been talking about is possibilly renting a house when we first move to Mexico. The reasons being that when we are living down there it would be easier to purchase a house and secondly we would get a chance to experience living in Mexico for an extended period of time to see if Mexico is really where we want to be. For me it is where I want to be.

I want the slower paced lifestyle

I want to smell the ocean air and feel my feet in the sand

I want to go to the local town market once or twice a week for fresh fruit and veggies

I want a permanent tan

I want to learn to speak spanish with the locals

I want to live there for at least 10 years

I can remember back to when I was 18 and started working full time I always told people I would move somewhere tropical to retire.

Hubby and I are going to make it a reality..............

Random Thoughts

2008-07-15T16:50:00.000-04:00

I liked this avatar above the minute I saw it. This is how I see my brain now. My thoughts and speech have their own agenda at times. I have spoken many new words now in the English Dictionary I am sure.

What I want to say when speaking and what actually comes out can be two different things. Most times I just laugh it off when the wrong words come out but it can be tricky when speaking to others who do not know I have MS. Just this morning hubby and I went to Walmart and upon entering I asked the greeter lady if there was a scooter available. Only in actuallity it came out backwards. I was a little embarrassed but then the lady laughed and so did I. Most people I find take it in stride.

Today hubby went out with a friend and I have had the house to myself. Dogs were here but in their sleep mode. Sun is out and shining. I am feeling good. This is a perfect day to play tunes and sing my heart out to the songs if I wish. Music is good for the soul they say. Heck I could even chair dance if I want. No one can see me woooot!!!!!.

So for the last couple of hours this is exactly what my day is consisting of as I wait for the hubby and daughter to get here.

Live Life To The Fullest As We Only Get One Shot At It

A Call From Across The Pond

2008-07-10T11:31:00.000-04:00

I received a call a couple of days ago from my favorite Uncle from England. Even though we do not see each other often there is still the closeness there. He called because I have been rattling around in his brain for abit, wondering how I am doing.

After we played catch up on all the latest news, my uncle began to tell me about his Prostrate cancer scare. I have to admit this news saddened me because my father had Prostrate cancer and it eventually took his life.

When I talked to my Uncle about this he sounded hopeful that the cancer was caught early enough with him. We even had a laugh about him having an implant of female hormones on his tummy. Ahah!!! someone else with hot flashes. At least we can joke about it. My internal thermostat is broken most of the time so i live in the land of hot flashes using fans to try and keep cool on the warm days.

Even though my Uncle and I dont talk on the phone very often, when we do it always brightens my day. We share a special bond between us and always have.

I love you Uncle and hoping for many more years of conversations between us........

It Twas A Busy Day

2008-07-04T11:59:00.000-04:00

Yesterday morning we were on the road by nine to go to Huntsville to see my Neuro Dr. Not much to update there except he sending me for more tests. Oh goodie!!!!This will include an MRI of my spine and some evoked potential testing. Also he is doing some kind of testing on my eyes to see if any damage is there from the bout of Optic Neuritis.

Last night was "date night" with my hubby. We went for dinner then to the drive in to see a movie. We packed up the dogs and the daughter met us there with some of her friends. It was a great night. There is nothing better then dinner and a movie with your special someone. We stayed for both shows so it was a very late night. Today I am tired from lack of sleep (dogs get us up early for their brekki). Now as I type this, dogs are fed and back to their sleeping mode. We are awake. Something is wrong with this picture. Some days I wish I was a dog just to eat and sleep the day away with no worries. Maybe in my next life I will come back as a dog and be pampered.

Tommorow we are headed to Gravenhurst to see an Antique Boat show on the waterfront. Then on Sunday I want to go to the Physcic Fair and check it out. So my weekend is full with the hubby. The weather is supposed to be warm and sunny as well.

I live for the "good days" when I can get out into the world. I spend too much time indoors when I am not feeling the best.

Live each day when you can I say..........cause we never know what the future holds. Do something fun...........give someone a hug just cause..........

Happy Canada Day!!!

2008-07-01T13:53:00.000-04:00

I will celebrate this day on my deck with a cold drink in hand :)

On June 20, 1868, a proclamation signed by the Governor General, Lord Monck, called upon all Her Majesty's loving subjects throughout Canada to join in the celebration of the anniversary of the formation of the union of the British North America provinces in a federation under the name of Canada on July 1st.

The July 1 holiday was established by statute in 1879, under the name Dominion Day.

There is no record of organized ceremonies after this first anniversary, except for the 50th anniversary of Confederation in 1917, at which time the new Centre Block of the Parliament Buildings, under construction, was dedicated as a memorial to the Fathers of Confederation and to the valour of Canadians fighting in the First World War in Europe.

The next celebration was held in 1927 to mark the Diamond Jubilee of Confederation. It was highlighted by the laying of the cornerstone by the Governor General of the Confederation Building on Wellington Street and the inauguration of the Carillon in the Peace Tower.

Since 1958, the government has arranged for an annual observance of Canada's national day with the Secretary of State of Canada in charge of the coordination. The format provided for a Trooping the Colours ceremony on the lawn of Parliament Hill in the afternoon, a sunset ceremony in the evening followed by a mass band concert and fireworks display.

Another highlight was Canada's Centennial in 1967 when Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II attended the celebrations with Parliament Hill again being the backdrop for a large scale official ceremony.

The format changed in 1968 with the addition of multicultural and professional concerts held on Parliament Hill including a nationally televised show. Up until 1975, the focus of the celebrations, under the name "Festival Canada", was held in the National Capital Region during the whole month of July and involved numerous cultural, artistic and sport activities, as well as municipalities and voluntary organizations. The celebration was cancelled in 1976 but was reactivated in 1977.

A new formula was developed in 1980 whereby the National Committee (the federal government organization charged with planning Canada's Birthday celebrations) stressed and sponsored the development of local celebrations all across Canada. "Seed money" was distributed to promote popular and amateur activities organized by volunteer groups in hundreds of local communities. The same approach was also followed for the 1981 celebrations with the addition of fireworks displays in 15 major cities across the nation.

On October 27, 1982, July 1st which was known as "Dominion Day" became "Canada Day".

Since 1985, Canada Day Committees are established in each province and territory to plan, organize and coordinate the Canada Day celebrations locally. Grants are provided by the Department to those committees.

Oh The Rotten Pain

2008-06-27T09:44:00.000-04:00

I feel like no one understands my pain. They do not live inside my body every day. The past week has been relentless with the pain. I mean "everything hurts". I wake up in the morning it is there. I go to sleep each night it is there. It makes me want to cry or scream out loud, it is so intense.

Is it the humidity of this past week causing it? I wish I knew. I have been moving turtle speed and only when I have to. Sure I have pain killers I can take but then I am in a drug hazy land. Damned if you do and damned if you dont.

I have always been a little scared of becoming addicted to pain killers so I take them sparingly. My doctor tells me I have a very small chance of becoming addicted as I take them for a reason.

Wouldnt it be nice to have a "magic pill" we could all take to get rid of the pain? Just pop that little pill and all will be well. One magic pill would work for all that suffer with pain. Yeah yeah enough of thinking in dream land. Still it would be nice dont ya think?

Today is going to be another high humidity day here in Ontario, wish me luck

Funeral for a Friend (our computer)

2008-06-19T13:40:00.000-04:00

You all know the ole saying "out with the old and in with the new", well our old outdated computer is going to be replaced with a new "more up to speed" one. With this it means not having to wait for the web pages to load. I swear even a turtle can move faster then our computer is at the moment. Then there is no matter how long you wait for a page to load it just won't. Or the yellow error messages that continulously pop up telling me I need more memory or else I will not work for you. There is no such thing as multi-tasking on this computer anymore, it can only handle one page at a time. Then there is the crunching sound it makes all the time. Poor computer is sick and needs retired. I will make sure it gets "retired" to a computer recycling facility.

I will be like a kid in a candy store with my new toy. Technology is getting so advanced now and I am finding it hard to try and keep up with it all. Isnt this why we have children so that when they grow up they can keep us filled in on the latest toys?

As for me I am still feeling pretty good, which hopefully means my MS is in remission for now. I really want to enjoy the summer. Hubby and I are looking into getting me a folding travel scooter. It will be perfect for taking on the airlines as well as taking to stores etc. More indepence for me woo hoo!!

We all take for granted the gift of walking around till we cannot do it anymore and mourn its loss. I can walk pretty good around the house but outside the front door its a different story. Between steps and uneven ground it makes it quite a challenge. My trusty cane never leaves home without me. I even call him by name. He is Jose. I picked him up in Cuba last February when I was there. Jose is a stunner for sure as he was carved out of Parota wood which is very strong. So we are bonded together outside of the relm of this house.

I may be physically challenged at times but I still want to have a semi normal life. "with a little help from my friends"

ttfn :)

Happy Father's Day

2008-06-15T10:27:00.000-04:00

The idea of Father’s Day was conceived by Sonora Dodd of Spokane, Wash., while she listened to a Mother’s Day sermon in 1909, according to the U.S. Census Bureau. Dodd wanted a special day to honor her father, William Smart, a widowed Civil War veteran who was left to raise his six children on a farm.

A day in June was chosen for the first Father’s Day celebration—June 19, 1910, proclaimed by Spokane’s mayor because it was the month of William Smart’s birth.

The first presidential proclamation honoring fathers was issued in 1966 when President Lyndon Johnson designated the third Sunday in June as Father’s Day. Father’s Day has been celebrated annually since 1972 when President Richard Nixon signed the public law that made it permanent.

Happy Father's Day daddy and to all the other men out there who are fathers

I Feel Good !!!

2008-06-11T10:39:00.000-04:00

I am amazed how well I have been feeling for the last two weeks, minus the dreaded bladder infection a week ago. It is all cleared up now with the magical pills the dr gave me. When I wake up in the morning I actually feel like I have slept the night before. This is giving me the energy to be more productive in the household. I am not the person I once was but thats ok. I am finding the new "me" with what I can and cannot do anymore, focusing on what I can do now.

Mornings are my best time for doing anything that requires spent energy. In a previous post I mentioned about the "spoon theory". People with MS get fatigued very easily so I am trying to measure what I do in a day. To do this I use the "spoon theory". On a good day I give myself 6 or 8 spoons. Every task such as showering etc. takes one spoon away. By the afternoon my spoons have run out and this is when I relax whether it is under a shady tree in my backyard or perhaps watching a DVD movie.

By using this theory, my days are much better instead of trying to get everything done at once when I am having those good days. I would always pay for it by getting myself so fatigued I dont even want to talk becuase it takes energy to do it. It has taken me a long time to finally realize I cannot do everything I used too.

Today was my last visit with my Physio lady and she is happy to see my progress. Its a beauty day here in my land and I am gonna go find that shady tree now..........

Heres to Summer 2008

My Dad My Hero

2008-06-05T11:23:00.000-04:00

Yesterday while I was rambling on about this dreaded bladder infection I meant to make a post regarding my dad. It would have been his 82nd birthday yesterday if he was still with us. My dad passed away on 23 Dec 2000 after a long battle with Cancer.

The Cancer started in his prostate and spread very quickly. It was a very aggresive type of Cancer he had. My dad underwent surgery in hopes it would give him a few more years of life. The one thing my dad was hoping for was to see my son turn into a young man at 18 years of age. Dad had a 50% chance of surviving this surgery but still wanted it done. The surgery took 8 hours to complete, giving him another 2 years of life. Radiation and Chemotherapy were not an option due to my dad's age and health at the time.

I was daddy's little girl from the day I was born. Dad and I shared a special bond between us. This bond grew even stronger as I grew up and got married. My dad was there for me when it counted the most. He was always there to give me the comforting hug when needed and help me to make sense of things when I didnt understand.

When my dad was diagnosed with the Cancer I was there for him. Taking him to drs appointments, running errands or whatever else needed done. My mom never learned to drive. I will always cherish this time I had with my dad and that I was able to be there with him through it all till the end.

Not a day goes by that I don't miss my dad.

Daddy, Happy Birthday I love you

Not Again!!!

2008-06-04T09:41:00.000-04:00

I awoke this morning to a nasty bladder infection. I had a feeling yesterday it was coming to haunt me but waited to see how it was today. Well guess what?? It is definately here to make my life miserable. Hubby is at the drs office dropping off a urine sample and getting the anti=biotics for me to take.

The reason I am feeling panicky is not because of the infection but what it can do to me. The last two relapses I have had started with a nasty bladder infection. I definately do not want to go that route again.

Yes I am in panic mode as all these thoughts of possible relapse roll around in my head. I have been doing so well the last week. We had company over the weekend and I was able to spend it with them. We shared some laughs, and some good girly gossip. My good friend is already talking about next year's Cuba trip with the girls. Hopefully the four of us girls will be able to get together again for a trip.

This reminds of something my hubby mentioned yesterday. He would like to take a trip to Puerto Vallarta and our favorite hotel in July. Now I have never been to Mexico in July or any of the summer months. I hear it can be quite rainy and humid. Hubby says we need to see what the weather is like down there in the summer since we hope to buy a house down there and live there most of the year. This makes sense to me to try it out first and see how it affects the MS. I do have a problem with heat intolerance now so I have to be careful and keep my body from overheating. A shady area in the adult whirlpool with a cold drink in my hand should do nicely :).

As for this bladder infection, hubby just got back from the drs with the anti-biotics

Here we go...............cross your fingers it is only a bladder infection

buenas dias............

The Spoon Theory

2008-05-28T09:25:00.000-04:00

This is a story of a woman with MS trying to explain what it is like to have this disease to a friend of hers

I thought I would share it with you.............

"But You Don't Look Sick"....

My best friend and I were in the diner talking. As usual, it was very late and we were eating French Fries with gravy. Like normal girls our age, we spend a lot of time in the diner while in college, and most of the time we spent talking about boys, music or trivial things, that seemed very important at the time.

We never got serious about anything in particular and spend most of our time laughing.

As I went to take some of my vitamins with a snack as I usually did, she watched me this time with a kind of start, instead of continuing the conversation. She then asked me out of the blue what it felt like to have MS and be sick.

I was shocked, not only because she asked the random question but also, I assumed she knew all there was to know about MS.

She had come to the doctors with me, seen me getting MRI's, she saw me stumble on sidewalks and have to sit down at a concert. She carried me out when I couldn't walk another step, what else was there to know?

I started to ramble on about the vitamins and the changes but she didn't seem satisfied with my answers. I was a little surprised as being my roommate and friend for years; I thought she already knew the medical definition of MS.

Then she looked at me with a face every sick person knows well, the face of pure curiosity about something no healthy person can truly understand. She asked what it felt like, not physically, but what it felt like to me...having MS.

As I tried to gain my composure, I glanced around the table for help or guidance, or at least a stall. I was trying to find the right words. How do I answer a question I never was able to answer for myself? How do I explain every detail of every day being effected, and give the emotions a person with MS goes through every day with clarity?

I could have given up and cracked a joke like I usually do, and changed the subject, but I remember thinking if I don't try to explain this, how could I ever expect her to understand? If I can't explain this to my best friend, how could I explain my world to anyone else? I had to at least try.

At that moment, the spoon theory was born. I quickly grabbed every spoon on the table; hell I grabbed spoons off of the other tables.

I looked her in the eyes and said, " Here you go, you have MS." She looked at me slightly confused, as anyone would when they are being handed a bouquet of spoons.

The cold metal spoons clanked together as I shoved them into her hands. I explained that the difference between having MS and being healthy is having to make choices, or to think consciously about things when the rest of the world doesn't have to. The healthy have the luxury of choice, a gift most people take for granted.

Most people start the day with an unlimited amount of possibilities, and energy to do whatever they desire, especially young people. For the most part, they do not need to worry about the effects their actions will have. So for my explanation, I used spoons to convey this point. I wanted something for her to actually hold, for me to take away, since most people who get MS feel the "loss" of a life they once knew.

If I was in control of taking away the spoons, then she would know what it feels like to have someone or something else, in this case MS, in control.

She grabbed the spoons with excitement. She didn't understand what I was doing, but she is always up for a good time. Little did she know how serious the game would become.

I asked her to count the spoons. She asked why, and I explained that the spoons represented units of energy and when you are healthy you expect to have a never-ending supply of spoons.

But when you have MS and you have to plan your day, you need to know exactly how many spoons you are starting with. It doesn't guarantee you might not lose some along the way, but at least it helps to know where you are starting. She counted out 12 spoons. She laughed and said she wanted more. I said no, and I knew right away that this little game would work, when she looked disappointed, and we hadn't even started the game yet.

I've wanted more spoons for years and haven't found a way yet to get more, why should she? I also told her to always be conscious of how many she had, and not to drop them because she can never forget she has MS.

I asked her to list off her day, including the most simple tasks. As she rattled off daily chores, or just fun things to do I explained how each one would cost her a spoon. When she jumped right into getting ready for work as her first task of the morning, I cut her off and took away a spoon.

I practically jumped down her throat. I said, "no, you don't just get up. You have to crack your eyes open and then realize you are late. You didn't sleep well the night before. You have to crawl out of bed, and you have to make yourself something to eat before you do anything else because you have to take your vitamins and have energy for the day and if not you might as well give up on spoons for the whole day!"

I quickly took away a spoon and she realized she hasn't even gotten dressed yet.

Showering cost her another spoon, just washing her hair and shaving her legs. Reaching too high or low, or having the shower water too hot and choosing to blow dry her hair would have cost more than one spoon but I didn't want to scare her too much in the beginning.

Getting dressed is worth another spoon. I stopped her and broke down every task to show her how every detail needs to be thought about. You have to see what clothes you can physically put on, what shoes are going to be appropriate for the days walking requirements, if pain or spacticity is a problem, buttons are out. If I have bruising from my medication, long sleeves might be in order.

You cannot simply throw clothes on when you have MS...its just not that easy.

I think she started to understand when she theoretically didn't even get to work yet and she was left with 6 spoons. I then explained to her that she needed to choose the rest of her day wisely, since when your spoons are gone, they are gone.

Sometimes you can borrow against tomorrow's spoons but just think how hard tomorrow will be with less spoons. I also needed to explain that a person who has MS lives with the looming thought that tomorrow may be the day that a fever comes, or an infection, or any number of things that could prove disabling.

So you do not want to run low on spoons, because you never know when you truly will need them. I didn't want to depress her, but I needed to be realistic, and unfortunately being prepared for the worst is part of the real day for me.

We went through the rest of the day, and she slowly learned that skipping lunch would cost her a spoon, as well as standing on a train, or even typing on her computer for too long. She was forced to make choices and to think about things differently.

Hypothetically, she had to choose not to run errands, so that she could eat dinner that night.

When we got to the end of her pretend day, she said she was hungry. I summarized that she had to eat dinner but she only had two spoons left. If she cooked, she wouldn't have enough energy to clean the pots.

If she went out to dinner, she might be too tired to drive home safely without having blurred vision or forgetting to turn her lights on. So she decided to make soup, it was easy. I then said it is only 7pm, you have the rest of the night but maybe end up with one spoon, so you can do something fun, or clean your apartment, or do chores but you can't do it all.

I rarely see her emotional, so when I saw her upset I knew maybe I was getting through to her. I didn't want my friend to be upset, but at the same time I was happy to think maybe finally someone understood me a little bit. She had tears in her eyes and asked quietly, "Christine, how do you do it? Do you really do this everyday?"

I answered that some days were worse than others , some days I have more spoons than most. But I can never make it go away and I can't ever for a minute forget about it, I always have to think about it. I handed her a spoon I had been holding on reserve. I said simply, "I have learned to live life with an extra spoon in my pocket, in reserve, you need to always be prepared."

It's hard, the hardest thing I ever had to learn is to slow down, and not to do everything. I fight this very day. I hate feeling left out, having to choose to stay home, or to not get things done that I want to. I wanted her to feel the frustration. I wanted her to understand that everything everyone else does comes so easy, but for me it is one hundred little jobs in one.

I need to think about the weather and my own body before I can attack any one thing. When other people can simply do things, I have to attack it and make a plan like I am strategizing a war. It is in that lifestyle, the difference between having a chronic illness and being healthy. It is the beautiful ability to not think and just do. I miss that freedom.

I miss never having to count my spoons.

After we were emotional and talked about this for a while longer, I sensed she was sad. Maybe she finally understood. Maybe she realized that she never could truly and honestly say she understands.

But at least now she might not complain so much when I can't go out for dinner some nights, or when I never seem to make it to her house and she always has to drive to mine. I gave her a hug and we walked out of the diner. I had one spoon in my hand and I said, "Don't worry.

I see this as a blessing. I have been forced to think about everything I do. Do you know how many spoons people waste every day? I don't have room to waste them, and I choose to spend this time with you."

Ever since this night, I have used the spoon theory to explain my life to many people. In fact, my family and friends refer to spoons all the time. It has been a code word for what I can and cannot do.

Once people understand the spoon theory they seem to understand me better, but I also think they look at their own life a little differently. I think it isn't just good for understanding MS, but anyone dealing with any disability or illness.

Hopefully, they don't take so much for granted or their life in general. I give a piece of myself, in every sense of the words, every time I do anything. It has become an inside joke. I have become famous for saying to people jokingly that they should feel special when I spend time with them, because they have one of my spoons.

In My Absence

2008-05-26T09:08:00.000-04:00

In my absence of a few days I have been busy trying to get this new house put back together with our stuff in it. Every item needs a place and since I have this gigantic home now to put things, it is not a hard task.

This past weekend was spent outside as much as possible. It was perfect weather wise. Hubby got my scooter ramp installed outside so I have access to everywhere outside now. Woo hoo!!! I have been set free.

The darling daughter has been here since Friday she is taking her driver;s test today. I am happy for her and hopes she passes this test and becomes another driver on our roads. My baby is getting her drivers license, man I feel old

I have also had the physio lady here again. She gave me a gift of silly putty to squeeze in my hands and fingers in hope of trying to strengthen them. It seems almost everything I try to pick up it drops out of my hands.

We are in for thunderstorms today which I can predict from the pressure build up in my head. Ever since I was a teenager I could predict upcoming storms. I am pretty accurate as well. No need for a weatherperson's report here.

What really has me in a good mood today is for the past few days I have felt good. I mean really good for me. The MS symptoms have gone into hiding for now. I will embrace this for as long as it lasts. We live for our "good days".

I will take this good day and run with it today. Well not exactly runper say, as this body doesnt run at all and never really did when I was normal. You get the drift though.

Happy Monday to all.............remember it takes more muscles to frown then to smile. Smile, live life to the fullest as we only get one shot at this life. ta ta for now..................

Is It A Train, or A Plane, Nope Its Supergirl!!!!

2008-05-17T09:48:00.000-04:00

Its been a whirlwind of a week here in our household. We moved to the new house on Tuesday and its been a blurr ever since.

Now we all know that moving is hell on earth, never mind having the disease of MS. It didnt take long for reality to set in realizing I could not do what I would have been able to before.

We did have a moving company come and move the big furniture stuff but there is much more to it all then just moving. Being the "woman" of the house I set out lifting and unpacking boxes (which was a big mistake)to make this new place workable, and comfy for us.

I awoke Wednesday morning and felt like i never slept a wink the night before. Yep the exhaustion soon set in with the pain and as I was kicking myself in the ass for overdoing it I realized I was feeling like another Relapse was starting to set in.

When my Physio lady came to see me on Friday she practically ordered me to rest and do nothing for the weekend. This is easier said then done when it comes to me. There is more that needs to be done. I will put my Scottish stubborness aside though and listen to her.

Its a rainy day here in Ontario today. Also it is the May long weekend. I will be a good girl this weekend and take it easy and stop trying to be Supergirl.

Rainy days are good for resting and watching movies. I will make it so.
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Happy Mother's Day

2008-05-11T10:05:00.000-04:00

A VERY Happy Mother's Day to all us Mother's and Grandmothers (me included)out there.

The history of Mother's Day is centuries old and the earliest Mother's Day celebrations can be traced back to the spring celebrations of ancient Greece in honor of Rhea, the Mother of the Gods. During the 1600's, the early Christians in England celebrated a day to honor Mary, the mother of Christ. By a religious order the holiday was later expanded in its scope to include all mothers, and named as the Mothering Sunday. Celebrated on the 4th Sunday of Lent (the 40 day period leading up to Easter), "Mothering Sunday" honored the mothers of England.

During this time many of the England's poor worked as servants for the wealthy. As most jobs were located far from their homes, the servants would live at the houses of their employers. On Mothering Sunday, the servants would have the day off and were encouraged to return home and spend the day with their mothers. A special cake, called the mothering cake, was often brought along to provide a festive touch.

As Christianity spread throughout Europe the celebration changed to honor the "Mother Church" - the spiritual power that gave them life and protected them from harm. Over time the church festival blended with the Mothering Sunday celebration . People began honoring their mothers as well as the church.

With the passage of time, the practice of this fantastic tradition ceased slowly. The English colonists settled in America discontinued the tradition of Mothering Sunday because of lack of time.

In the United States, Mother's Day was loosely inspired by the British day and was first suggested after the American Civil War by social activist Julia Ward Howe. Howe (who wrote the words to the Battle hymn of the Republic) was horrified by the carnage of the Civil War and the Franco-Prussian War and so, in 1870, she tried to issue a manifesto for peace at international peace conferences in London and Paris (it was much like the later Mother's Day Peace Proclamation). During the Franco-Prussian war in the 1870s, Julia began a one-woman peace crusade and made an impassioned "appeal to womanhood" to rise against war. She composed in Boston a powerful plea that same year (generally considered to be the original Mothers' Day proclamation*) translated it into several languages and distributed it widely. In 1872, she went to London to promote an international Woman's Peace Congress. She began promoting the idea of a "Mother's Day for Peace" to be celebrated on June 2, honoring peace, motherhood and womanhood. In the Boston Mass, she initiated a Mothers' Peace Day observance on the second Sunday in June, a practice that was to be established as an annual event and practiced for at least 10 years. The day was, however, mainly intended as a call to unite women against war. It was due to her efforts that in 1873, women in 18 cities in America held a Mother's Day for Pace gathering. Howe rigorously championed the cause of official celebration of Mothers Day and declaration of official holiday on the day. She held meetings every year at Boston on Mother's Peace Day and took care that the day was well-observed. The celebrations died out when she turned her efforts to working for peace and women's rights in other ways. Howe failed in her attempt to get the formal recognition of a Mother's Day for Peace. Her remarkable contribution in the establishment of Mother's Day, however, remains in the fact that she organized a Mother's Day dedicated to peace. It is a landmark in the history of Mother's Day in the sense that this was to be the precursor to the modern Mother's Day celebrations. To acknowledge Howe's achievements a stamp was issued in her honor in 1988.

It should be well to remember that Howe's idea was influenced by Ann Marie Reeves Jarvis, a young Appalachian homemaker who, starting in 1858, had attempted to improve sanitation through what she called "Mothers Friendship Day". In the 1900's, at a time when most women devoted their time solely on their family and homes, Jarvis was working to assist in the healing of the nation after the Civil War. She organized women throughout the Civil War to work for better sanitary conditions for both sides and in 1868 she began work to reconcile Union and Confederate neighbors. Ann was instrumental in saving thousands of lives by teaching women in her Mothers Friendship Clubs the basics of nursing and sanitation which she had learned from her famous physician brother James Reeves, M.D. In parts of the United States it was customary to plant tomatoes outdoors after Mother's Work Days (and not before).

It was Jarvis' daughter, Anna Jarvis, who finally succeeded in introducing Mother's Day in the sense as we celebrate it today. Anna graduated from the Female Seminary in Wheeling and taught in Grafton for a while. Later she moved to Philadelphia with her family. Anna had spent many years looking after her ailing mother. This is why she preferred to remain a spinster. When her mother died in Philadelphia on May 9, 1905, Anna missed her greatly. So did her sister Elsinore whom she looked after as well. Anna felt children often neglected to appreciate their mother enough while the mother was still alive. Now, she intended to start a Mother's Day, as an honoring of the mothers. In 1907, two years after her mother's death, Anna Jarvis disclosed her intention to her friends who supported her cause wholeheartedly. So supported by her friends, Anna decided to dedicate her life to her mother's cause and to establish Mother's Day to "honor mothers, living and dead." She started the campaign to establish a national Mother's Day. With her friends, she started a letter-writing campaign to urge ministers, businessmen and congressmen in declaring a national Mother's Day holiday. She hoped Mother's Day would increase respect for parents and strengthen family bonds.

As a result of her efforts the first mother's day was observed on May 10, 1908, by a church service honoring Late Mrs. Reese Jarvis, in the Andrews Methodist Church in Grafton, West Virginia, where she spent 20 years taking Sunday school classes. Grafton is the home to the International Mother's Day Shrine. Another service was also conducted on the same date in Philadelphia where Mrs. Jarvis died, leaving her two daughters Anna and Elsinore. So it was more of a homage service for Mrs. Reeves Jarvis than a general one conducted in honor of motherhood. Nevertheless, this set the stage for the later Mother's Day observances held in the honor of motherhood.

Following this, it gained a widespread popularity across the nation. The Mother's Day International Association came into being on December 12, 1912, to promote and encourage meaningful observances of the event. Anna's dream came true when on May 9, 1914, the Presidential proclamation declared the 2nd Sunday of May to be observed as Mother's Day to honor the mothers.

It was here in the first observance that the carnations were introduced by Miss Jarvis. Large jars of white carnations were set about the platform where the service was conducted. At the end of the exercise one of these white carnations was given to each person present as a souvenir of Mother's Day. All this was done because the late elder Jarvis was fond of carnations.

From there, the custom caught on -- spreading eventually to 45 states. The first Mother's Day proclamation was issued by the governor of West Virginia in 1910. Oklahoma celebrated it in that same year. It stirred the same way in as far west as the state of Washington. And by 1911 there was not a state in the Union that did not have its own observances for Mother's Day. Soon it crossed the national boundary, as people in Mexico, Canada, South America, China, Japan and Africa all joined the spree to celebrate a day for mother love.

The Mother's Day International Association came into being on December 12, 1912, to promote and encourage meaningful observances of the event. Starting from 1912, Mother's day began to be officially declared a holiday by some states. Anna's dream came true when in 1914, President Woodrow Wilson declared the first national Mother's Day, as a day for American citizens to show the flag in honor of those mothers whose sons had died in war.

The House of Representatives in May 1913 unanimously adopted a resolution requesting the President, his cabinet, the members of both Houses and all officials of the federal government to wear a white carnation on Mother's Day. On May 7,1914, a resolution providing that the second Sunday in May be designated Mother's Day was introduced by Representative James T. Heflin of Alabama and Senator Morris Sheppard of Texas. It passed both Houses and on May 9, 1914, President Woodrow Wilson made the first official announcement proclaiming Mother's Day as a national holiday that was to be held each year on the 2nd Sunday of May. He asked Americans to give a public expression of reverence to mothers through the celebration of Mother's Day:

"Now, Therefore, I, Woodrow Wilson, President of the United States of America, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the said Joint Resolution, do hereby direct the government officials to display the United States flag on all government buildings and do invite the people of the United States to display the flag at their homes or other suitable places on the second Sunday in May as a public expression of our love and reverence for the mothers of our country."

And issuing a Mother's day Proclamation has since then been a convention.

Nine years after the first official Mother's Day, commercialization of the U.S. holiday became so rampant that Anna Jarvis herself became a major opponent of what the holiday had become. While honored for her part in the growth of the holiday, Anna Jarvis' last life was miserable. As the observance of Mother's Day enjoyed increasing popularity, new dimensions came to be added to it. This made Anna Jarvis disillusioned with her own creation. Though the original spirit of honoring the mothers remained the same, what began as a religious service expanded quickly into a more secular observance leading to giving of flowers, cards, and gifts. And Anna Jarvis was unable to cope with this changing mode of expression.

In 1934 Postmaster General James A. Farley announced a stamp to commemorate Mother's Day. The stamp featured the famous painting "Arrangement in Grey and Black". The painting was a portrait of the mother of James Abbott McNeill Whistler, an English artist. It was brought in to the United States as part of an exhibit in the year 1934.

Mother's Day continues to this day to be one of the most commercially successful U.S. occasions. According to the National Restaurant Association, Mother's Day is now the most popular day of the year to dine out at a restaurant in the United States. The occasion is now celebrated not so much with flags as with gifts, cards, hugs, thank yous and other tokens of affection. While many countries of the world celebrate their own Mother's Day on different days and at different times throughout the year, there are some countries such as Denmark, Finland, Italy, Turkey, Australia, and Belgium which also celebrate Mother's Day on the second Sunday of May. In some countries, the appreciation lasts for two days.

Today, Mother's Day is a day honoring mothers, celebrated on various days in many places around the world. It is the day when you acknowledge your mothers contribution in your life and pay a tribute to her, often with flowers and gifts. It complements Father's Day, the celebration honoring fathers.

I wish everyone a great day, I will be spending this day with my kiddies

To Travel The World

2008-05-06T09:37:00.000-04:00

When I was in College taking Travel and Toursim I met a very special friend the first day. As all of us sat in the classroom on the first day, one person stood out to me above all the others. Maybe it was the chicken pox that was all over her face covered with Calamine Lotion or it was her bubbly personality. The chicken pox scared me abit at first because a few years ago I had a bout of shingels and she assured me she was over the contagious faze. It was her personality that instantly drew me to her. From that day on we struck up a friendship and were inseparable from that day on. We sat beside each other in class, helping each other along the way. We started a study group by the lake, with a few followers from our class and this is where we would study before tests and exams, probbing each others brains for the answers we would need to pass the tests or exams.

My friend and I wanted to push the limits to see if we really pushed ourselves what kind of marks we would get in class. I know for me I wanted to push the envelope to get the highest marks I could. This meant going to school through the day and coming home to at least three hours homework each night. My kids were in Public school then and we would all sit down every night after supper at the kitchen table and do homework.

All of my hard work paid off in the end as I graduated with a 94% overall average and my friend had a 95% overall average. My friend and I had become really good buddies and still are to this day.

Which brings me to my original post here. A year ago my friend told me she wanted to go on a tour of the world with her boyfriend. I was excited for her with a little bit of jealousy tied in. To be able to travel around the world has always been a dream of mine. If I was 25 years younger before I had my kiddies I would be right beside her on this journey. I am really happy for her and hope she has the trip of a lifetime.

My friend and her boyfriend left last Sunday to begin their adventure in Ireland. I will miss her alot.

I will anxiously await the emails with pictures attached of their travels.

Stay safe my friend and experience all there is to this adventure

I love you and see you in a year

MRI Day

2008-05-03T14:02:00.000-04:00

Today is a very rainy day here in Orillia, ON Canada. Its also the day for me to get the MRI done at the local hospital here.

This is how it went:

My appointment was for 1215 this afternoon. Hubby gets me over to the hospital with lots of time to spare. My legs are quite wobbly today so once I get to the hospital I will need a wheelchair to get to the MRI checkin. Good thing I took the wheelchair route because the MRI department was at the other end of the hospital! The hospital volunteer dropped me off at the checkin desk there. After being registered someone from the MRI department wheeled me to the change room to put on the GROOVY hospital gown. This is where she left me at the door to the change room. The last two things she said to me were please take off all of your jewllery and the change room is wheelchair accessible.

1. There was no button to push to make the change room door open. Also there was no one else around accept me and this lady from the department and she is no where in sight.

2. With Jose my trusty cane friend in hand I stand up and open the door manually. Upon opening the door I see a room made for one person only with no way of me getting this wheelchair in there. I solved that problem and left the wheelchair outside the door. No big deal.

I have to laugh out loud when my brain makes MS Hiccups. As the attendant gets me on that way too skinny moving table she says to me "Why is all your jewellery still on in here?" Big oooopsie there. I vaguely remember her telling me to take off my jewellery. After taking off my jewellery and handing it to her, she leaves the room and starts the MRI going again for the scan. A couple of minutes into the scan I can hear her through the headphones asking me if I had any metal in my head. "not that I know of" I told her. Here comes the MRI lady into the room again and she does not look like a happy camper.

Keep in mind this is second time she has had to stop the scan and visit me in this room with the hard, skinny moving table that moves into a tunnel which is not bigger in width then this dam table. Out of the tunnel I come. Apologizing to her with a little joke about us MSers and the short tern memory we no long have due to the holes in our head. With a look of anger of her face she spies my little hair clip on my head. Apparently I had forgotten about it too.

The next 25 minutes was a breeze after that.

Mental note to self:

Take someone with me to the MRI next time to be my memory. Mine has gone for a crap in a big black hole.

Feelings Of Guilt

2008-05-01T09:24:00.000-04:00

I want to say goodbye to the enormous feelings of guilt that sometimes consumes me. The guilt I feel for my hubby as I watch him dealing with never ending tiredness. This is not from any kind of disease but just simply doing more then he should. He has had two open heart surgeries to replace a faulty value in his heart. Yet getting things ready for the upcoming move I look at him every day looking so tired and wishing I could help him.

I try to pitch in packing a few boxes every day and a few odd things around this house. I like to call it puttering. You know you do a little bit of something then stop for a break and this repeats till mid afternoon sets in when I am even pooped.

There is so much I wish I could do and it leaves me ridden with guilt. I want to be there for him and help out like a normal person would. He never complains about what I can or can not do but still I cannot get it out of my head. If there was other friends or family around to help us out I wouldnt feel so bad. Unfortunately there is just him and I to do this move. We are hoping a couple of friends will help with the move day but this depends on when they work etc.

I woke up this morning in a depressed mood. Feelings of doom and gloom surrounded me as I had my morning coffee. Hubby has left to see an old friend as I write this with tears streaming down my face. Why the heck am I crying? I should be happy. I have a hubby who is wonderful to me and we are moving to a new house that will be so much better for me get around, but still the tears fall.

I still try to manage my life with MS. Forgive myself for not being able to do the things I used too and focus on the future and what I can do. I am the only person who can do this.

I need to laugh often, love without prejudice and live my life to the best I can. Only then will I be able to let go of this horrendous guilt.

The Gifts That Keep Giving

2008-04-29T14:00:00.000-04:00

While packing some more boxes for the upcoming move I took a look through my wardrobe. It was quite a mixture of clothes I have worn over the years. From Xmas party dresses to office wear to what I like to call "comfy wear". Just as I was in the middle of it all the phone rings. It is the Diabetes Society looking for used clothing for the needy.

After speaking with them confirming a pick up in our area I went back to the closet and started to make two piles on the bed, one the office wear and formal wear and the other the comfy clothes. It wasnt a hard choice to make. My days of needing office wear clothing are long gone now as well as the work Xmas Parties. Comfy clothes is what I live in now. When I was finished I had three full garbage bags full of these clothes to go to a better home.

My other gift of the day was the dishwasher. Where we are moving too already has a built in dishwasher and the one we have now rolls up to the sink. I put it in an online add this morning as FREE to a good home. First reply to my email was from a guy who was coming to my town shortly and would like to pick it up. He was just a young man probably with a young family who really appreciated getting this dishwasher for free.

It makes me happy to know that all of the above items will be used and appreciated by others.

Back to packing..............

Its Raining.........No wait Its Snowing!!!!!

2008-04-28T08:16:00.000-04:00

What started as rain this morning has now turned to snow???? Ok Mr. Weather whats up with this. We went from sunny skies and warm temperatures last week to snow falling this Monday morning. Its the end of April here what gives?

The birds have come back from their winter destinations, the flowers are in bloom, it doesnt make sense. Now I know this snow will not stay on the ground, its just the sight of it falling makes me want to go back to bed and pull the covers up over my head and wait till the nice weather comes back.

Did I mention before I hate winter. Besides trying to manoever through the ice and snow has become a big challenge for me.

My MS body does not like this drastic change in weather. I hurt in too many places to count and on the second day of a massive eye pain/headache.

I think its time to grab that warm blanket and put in a movie. It wont stop the snow from falling but with my back to the window I wont have to look at it either.

Whatever your day brings I hope it is a good one.

Things That Make Me Happy

2008-04-25T10:10:00.000-04:00

I took a look over my last few posts and realized there was too much negativity going on here.

Today I will write about the things in my life that make me happy. Give me a palm tree with a beach and warm water to swim in and I am a happy camper. I have always travelled since a child. I was 21 when a friend of mine and I went to the Bahamas. The warm ocean water and I was hooked instantly. I have probably been on about 30 trips to different places in the Carribean.

My motto was to travel as much as I possibly could in my lifetime. Besides the ocean and warm weather I love to see other cultures. I have travelled whenever I could take time off work(before 2005 when I had to stop working) and when money would allow. I have many photo albums of memories of my travels.

Travelling for me now has meant change. Last February my daughter and two other friends of mine and I went to Cuba for 2 weeks. I have a hard time walking any distance now so it was spent in a wheelchair. All the girls were great helping me and we had a blast for two weeks.

Hubby and I have made the decision to move to Mexico hopefully in Oct 2009. No more Canadian winters woooo hoooo!!!! Every day I will see palm trees and ocean. What could be better then that. It will be a big adjustment from living here but we are willing to take the chance. Other people have done it. We constantly look online for the real estate listings for the Pacific Coast of Mexico. Hopefully in the fall we will go down there and look through some of listings for what we will need. I will keep posting our progress on the house situation as time goes on.

I am very fortunate to have a supportive hubby through the MS rollercoaster ride as I like to call it. He helps me when I cannot do things I want too and always helps me to see things in a clearer light.

My puppies give me unconditional love and support, they never leave my side. I call them puppies but in reality Buddy the male Bishon is 13 years old and Molly the Shih Tzu is 9 years old. They will also make the Mexico trek with us.

My son who is 21 lives with his girlfriend and they have my 7 month old grandson who is my greatest joy. Whenever I see him I feel instant love. My 17 year old daughter who is a younger version of me.

When I think of all the special joys in my life it makes me happy. I will not let this disease take this away from me. I simply wont

Vitamin D and MS

2008-04-24T08:40:00.000-04:00

I always wondered about this...............

Recently, it has been clearly demonstrated that exogenous 1,25-dihydroxyvitamin D3, the hormonal form of vitamin D3, can completely prevent experimental autoimmune encephalomyelitis (EAE), a widely accepted mouse model of human multiple sclerosis (MS). This finding has focused attention on the possible relationship of this disease to vitamin D. Although genetic traits certainly contribute to MS susceptibility, an environmental factor is also clearly involved. It is our hypothesis that one crucial environmental factor is the degree of sunlight exposure catalyzing the production of vitamin D3 in skin, and, further, that the hormonal form of vitamin D3 is a selective immune system regulator inhibiting this autoimmune disease. Thus, under low-sunlight conditions, insufficient vitamin D3 is produced, limiting production of 1,25-dihydroxyvitamin D3, providing a risk for MS. Although the evidence that vitamin D3 is a protective environmental factor against MS is circumstantial, it is compelling. This theory can explain the striking geographic distribution of MS, which is nearly zero in equatorial regions and increases dramatically with latitude in both hemispheres. It can also explain two peculiar geographic anomalies, one in Switzerland with high MS rates at low altitudes and low MS rates at high altitudes, and one in Norway with a high MS prevalence inland and a lower MS prevalence along the coast. Ultraviolet (UV) light intensity is higher at high altitudes, resulting in a greater vitamin D3 synthetic rate, thereby accounting for low MS rates at higher altitudes. On the Norwegian coast, fish is consumed at high rates and fish oils are rich in vitamin D3. Further, experimental work on EAE provides strong support for the importance of vitamin D3 in reducing the risk and susceptibility for MS. If this hypothesis is correct, then 1,25-dihydroxyvitamin D3 or its analogs may have great therapeutic potential in patients with MS. More importantly, current research together with data from migration studies opens the possibility that MS may be preventable in genetically susceptible individuals with early intervention strategies that provide adequate levels of hormonally active 1,25-dihydroxyvitamin D3 or its analogs

We Are People Too

2008-04-23T08:34:00.000-04:00

Hubby took me to Walmart yesterday to pick up a few items that were needed. As we pull into the disabled parking spot at the front of the store I am watching all the people walking from their cars and thinking to myself I used to be like them. Just pull into any random parking spot and get out and walk without even giving it a second thought. These are things a person doesn't realize and almost take for granted until you cannot do it anymore. When I mention this to the hubby he replies "Yes but wait till you get in the store and get the complimentary scooter" then you will get around like everyone else".

This is easier said then done. We go into the store and look for the scooter and its not there. Walmart used to have two of them. Now they are down to one. How lucky for me. This just burned my butt. I asked the Walmart greeter person how come they only have one scooter now. She replied "we had two scooters and one broke so now we only have one. I politely told the lady this was a load of crap!!! You would think these big store chains would have more then one scooter considering there is more then me out there needing them. Taking my trustworthy cane we walk to the section of the store where I pick up the items needed. I am grateful it was all in one area of the store. I would have liked to go through the baby stuff and shoes department but it was too far for me to walk. By the time we get home I am exhausted.

Sure it is great if you have your own vehicle that you can carry around your own scooter in. I have a scooter. I don't have a vehicle to carry it around yet. We are working on the vehicle issue but in the meantime how can I enjoy going into a big chain store when walking is a big issue.

The shopping malls are another sore spot on my list. They do not accommodate anyone needing a scooter to get around. I guess they figure if the person is disabled enough either they bring their own scooter or do not go to these places. Another load of crap in my book. All it does is reassure me that I am not "normal" anymore. Yes I am disabled. Yes I am trying to make my life as normal as possible. Yes I understand my life has changed from what it once was. All I ask is please make these scooters available so I can enjoy shopping like everyone else.

Up here in Canada we should follow by example the big chain stores in the United States. When I was there two years ago every big chain store my friend and I went in all had scooters. At least 4 to 6 scooters per store.

This is my pet peeve for the day.

take care

Did I Shave My Legs For This?

2008-04-21T10:57:00.000-04:00

When my second relapse happened I was so weak and fatigued that hubby had to help me a few times when it came to shower time. Just when I thought I had gained my privacy back in the shower I am still not alone. MS comes into the shower as well. Now what I am going to tell you I found comical at first. Sitting on my bath bench while showering this morning I decided my legs were starting to get too furry. I get out my trusty disposible shaver and start shaving. As the shaver runs over my right ankle my hand jerks and I feel a slight pinch. It felt like a small cut. Thinking it was merely a minor scrape I finish showering. With water no longer running down my legs I grab the towel. Upon looking down towards my ankle all I can see is blood covering my ankle and foot. Oops! this cant be good. Upon wiping the blood away I take a look at my ankle. It wasnt the small cut I had though it was. It was a chunk of skin taken away from the razor. I guess my armed jerked when shaving in that area and this was the end result. This was when I started laughing out loud. My two trustworthy puppies laying at the doorway of the bathroom looking at me. If I could only read their minds to see what they are thinking of this mad woman laughing to herself while trying to stop the blood from flowing.

As I make this post my right ankle has finally stopped bleeding and wrapped up with gauze. My body parts have a mind of their own at times. Arms, wrists, legs, will just jerk on their own. Picking up things is challenging as well with random objects falling from my hands. I really try to keep a sense of humour when this happens. Dont sweat the little stuff.

Enjoy your day

Looking Back In Time

2008-04-20T12:17:00.000-04:00

While pondering my thoughts this morning I took myself on a journey looking back in time. I wanted and needed to try and remember when I felt "normal" A time when there was no monster called MS in my body.

When I was a child I grew up in a small town one hour north of Toronto. It was potato farming country all around this town. At this young age of seven years old I was like every other kid in school for two exceptions. One I wore glasses which always got me called "four eyes" and number two being I was covered in freckles. Having all these freckles or beauty marks as my father would call them. Little kids can be cruel at that age and would tease me alot about the glasses and freckles. A few years later I got my revenge on all the ones that picked on me at that age. Other then that my childhood was normal and so was I. I can remember loving to skip rope and skipping double dutch was a favorite pastime if mine.

As a young teenager I was very active. I either walked or rode my bike everywhere. When I was fifteen I started taking Judo lessons. I excelled in this sport winning quite a few tournaments in a few years.

In my early twenties I was on my own working two jobs to pay for my apartment and car. I always suffered from horrible migraine headaches since the age of sixteen. Tried almost every drug on the market over the years for relief from the migraine but nothing would work as well as a shot of Demerol for the pain. My head was a weather barometer and I could tell before anyone else that a major storm was brewing.

I have had these migraines all these years but over the past two years the frequency of these headaches has diminished to 2 or 3 times a year now.

My early thirties is when it all seemed to change. The birth of my precious daughter almost killed us both. I got something called "help syndrome". It can happen to a pregnant woman where the body doesn't want to be pregnant anymore and starts to shut down. Blood pressure goes extremely high while the platelet count in the blood drops quite fast. They had to do an emergency C-section on me. All went well and I had a beautiful baby girl. Since having the birth of my daughter I seemed to get very sickly alot of the time. Between the headaches and the sinus and chest infections it seemed never ending. This is the time the pain in random parts of my body started. I was young enough and had two children to help take care of, I just worked through most of it. There were the days when I couldn't get out of bed, I was exhausted. I would try and sleep the day away to try and get my body moving again. Usually after a day of rest I would feel alot better. Sometimes it would take a few days. I often wonder if this was the start of the MS. Nobody seems to have a definite answer as to how a person gets MS.

The forties have been a roller coaster ride so far. Wondering what was wrong with me drove me to finding an answer. Having two relapses in 6 months have taken a toll on me. The last two years I have the constant battle with my body on how it will work
today.

I can no longer work. I am disabled. My mother used to tell me when one door closes another one opens. It is a very true saying.

Hummmmmmm maybe my new calling is to write. Sounds good to me

Sun Sun Shiny Mr Sun

2008-04-18T08:46:00.000-04:00

Mr. Sunshine makes me happy. I am a sun worshipper for as long as I can remember. The temperature here today is supposed to be 23C or around 80F. Yesterday the temperature was the same and Mr. Sun is out. When we were at the new house yesterday we officially broke in the new deck with lawn chairs and a cold drink in our hands. Our backyard is huge. Five acres to be exact that will need cut and another five acres that is bush. No neighbors!!!! I could sit out there naked if i wanted. Not that I would mind you. This body no longer supports nudity, as I do not consider it a pretty site anymore.

Now I know there will be some of you that shy away from the sun. Mr. Sun is still my friend until it gets too hot. We must not overheat ourselves because then the MS will show its ugly head. For me the sun makes me feel good. I can feel the sun's warmth go right to my bones. It makes my freckles all mat together and make one great big tan. When I look good I feel good and anything on this earth that is gonna make me feel good I will do.

Today will be the same as yesterday. This afternoon I will greet Mr. Sunshine once again on the deck, hopefully with a nice cool drink in my hand.

Time To Say Goodbye

2008-04-16T08:46:00.000-04:00

Its time to say goodbye to the things I used to be able to do physically and focus on what I can do now. Gone are the days I could stand on my feet for 8 hours or even go to a shopping mall and walk through the stores. I have been in mourning for awhile now not to be able to do the things I used to do before this dreaded MS took hold of me. Being a fighter from way back I have pushed myself beyond my limits once again.

Yesterday was another busy day. I spent the morning packing the never ending boxes. Then hubby and I took them over to the new house where I spent the afternoon unpacking them. Usually this should be no problem. Unless you have MS. The "pace yourself" idea went out of my head. I was feeling extremely good yesterday so yes I overdid it. By late afternoon exhaustion had set in and I was a zombie. By nightime I was too tired to even talk or move. Hubby knew I was tired but I didnt tell him to what degree. I guess I didnt want to hear "the speech of overdoing it". This morning I did not even want to get out of bed. I could have slept the morning away quite nicely. The exhaustion is still there even after two cups of coffee. I will be smarter today I will rest and hopefully tommorow I will feel better.

Now I dont know about all of you fellow msers out there but I find this transsition very hard to go from what we used to be able to do to what we can do now. I still mourn for my lost independance I once had. Such as jumping in my car and driving to the grocery store. Number one I still cannot drive with this spots in front of my left eye and two even if I got to the grocery store I couldnt walk through the aisles. One of the grocery store chains we have here does have grocery scooters. Again I have to rely on someone to take me there. My hubby always tells me it could be alot worse. I am sure it could be. But I live in this body every day and I keep looking for that Fairy Godmother to let me trade this body in on a newer model. I think the batteries in her magic wand need replacing.

Rest I will today and if the weather warms up like it is supposed to I may even do it from my deck.

Good Monday Morning !!

2008-04-14T08:11:00.000-04:00

Its always a bonus waking up to the sun shining. It doesn't seem to matter the temperature out there, as long as it is sunny. Yes spring is definately here in the northland. My spring flowers are popping their little heads out of the dirt. The blue jays and canada geese are back from their southern winter retreats. I am counting the days till I can get back on my deck and enjoy my morning coffee.

The past weekend was a busy one. Hubby and I had the daughter here and a good friend of hers. The good friend of hers is a guy. Yes just a friend. He is a good kid. He also plays in a band. He brought his guitar this weekend and entertained us. Whatever time was left over was spent going back and forth to the new house.

Moving is truly hell!!!! I am sure many people can relate to this. The packing and unpacking seems never ending. As I pack another box I can hear my Occupational Therapist in the back of my head telling me to conserve my energy. I have to giggle at this one. In reality if I don't pack these boxes who else is gonna do it? My poor hubby is so busy getting the new place ready to move into he just doesn't have the time. I don't even have a moving "date". Somewhere in the next two weeks we will be in the new house.

The Homecare nurse comes this morning as well to check up on me. Hopefully soon the visits will stop. Its been ten days since the end of the Steroids. My left eye is getting better as well. Still some numbness on the left side of my face but no pain. I can live with that.

So my day begins. As I look over at the empty cardboard boxes needing to filled, here i go.

2008-04-11T18:01:00.001-04:00

2008-04-11T17:47:00.001-04:00

To Blog Or Not To Blog

2008-04-11T11:15:00.000-04:00

Before this land of Blogging I let the idea roll around in my head. Like many of us MSers we have short term memory loss so when the idea comes back into your head it seems like a new idea all along. The last time the thought came to mind I decided to act on it. Back in the day when I was in High School my favorite subject was English. I excelled in this class, pulling off a 98% average in Grade 10. Reading and writing was something I always loved to do.

When my first major relapse happened last October I wanted to document everything. I started a Journal to record everything my body was feeling day by day. The good, the bad and the ugly. I wanted also to be able to look back in this journal for the possibility of doing an article for a magazine I subscribe to. Also to give a copy to my family doctor so he could see the progress I was making while taking the Steroids.

It was a brilliant idea!~So away I went and sat my butt down in front of my computer every day and documented everything. There were days when I felt so ill it was a challenge to do this task . I was determined to stick it out. I am so glad I did. For when my 2nd relapse happened in March of this year I went over my notes from before and knew what to expect. I prepared myself this time with a "Relapse Kit". I know this may sound silly to some people but to me it was a godsend. Please feel free to try any of the items below as this is one of other reasons I decided to do this blog was to find and share ideas between fellow MSers. If what I write even helps one person I have succeeded.

1. Wherever you spend most of your time during relapse have as much of the Relapse Kit in front of you in plain sight. This not only helps you remember to take medication etc,, it is also within an arms reach. This way also helps to conserve energy. Something relapse takes away from us.

2. As I mentioned above I always have my medications in front of me.

3. Lots of water. This seems to help with the heartburn.

4. Candy or gum. I use the sugar free one as I am a diabetic. It helps with the yucky tin taste in the mouth from the steroids.

5. Food. When on steroids everything tastes good. This time on relapse I sent my hubby to the grocery store for fruit and veggies. I have to confess I ate the junk stuff too. It will all even out won't it?

6. Ginger Ale. Its nice to sip on when feeling nauseous. For a better effect let it go flat then drink.

7. Some kind of meal replacement drink. When the nausea and heartburn is really bad and eating is the last thing on your mind. Drink it cold out of the refrigerator. The colder the better. I pour it in a glass with ice cubes to get it super cold.

8. A fan. When the hot flashes start you will be grateful.

9. A comfy blanket. It's like having the flu, covers on covers off.

10. And the number ten item in this relapse kit is plugging in a good movie and rest. I go through quite a few before I am more like myself again.

With this being my fourth blog now I have something to look forward to every day. I can no longer work so this blogging will fit into my lifestyle quite nicely. I am finding it very therapeutic as well. I have had all these thoughts and feelings rolling around in my head since it all started. The thoughts are being set free. Will I continue blogging? I most certainly will.

Doctor Day

2008-04-10T13:12:00.000-04:00

Well I just returned from seeing the Neurologist. Hubby had me up nice and early to pour coffee into me before we head out on the highway An hour's drive away. The drive was quite pleasant though. Hubby drives and I look at the scenery along the way. Even through these spotty vision eyes I can see signs of spring in the air. We live in an area that was hit really hard with snow through the winter. Now is the spring thaw. Very high overflowing riverbanks I could see. Even up to some people's front doors of their homes along the river. That must be a bummer. The sun shined on the way home. I was drinking in the Vitamin D. Sunshine always makes my day better. Its like my body craves it. Not too hot though.

My appointment this morning was at 1000. I didn't have to wait very long to see the doctor which is a plus. He was a very nice young (cause he looks alot younger then me ) man. Don't get me wrong here I do not consider myself old yet. Dear doctor asked alot of questions and gave me head to toe examination. This included the walk the straight line test. I flunked miserably. It didn't seem to matter which foot i stuck out first the other one would stagger like a drunk and here is dear doctor ready to catch me if i fell. He was a Little man. I would squish him like a bug if i fell on him. Dear doctor finishes by the sit down talk discussing what plan of attack we should take. He decides to order an MRI to see whats going on in there. End of doctors visit.

I did feel quite comfy with him though so I will go get this MRI done then go from there. As I sit here hubby has gone over to the new house we are moving into. Its alot bigger then the one we have but its really private sitting on 10 acres. Happy hubby even purchased a stair lift for me to go up to the second level in. Stairs are not my friend anymore. I am excited about this new house as the ground level is all flat and it has big archways between the rooms so even a scooter can get around if I have to. I am also the proud owner of a scooter. Its a few years old but is great for me as it looks brand new. I will have my freedom again!!!!!! The next thing is to purchase a van to get the scooter in and out of. Right now we have a two door coupe car which really doesn't cut it. You can barely get a wheelchair in there. The van will come down the road. One day at a time.

The 2nd Relapse

2008-04-09T08:56:00.000-04:00

It began on 14 March 2008 waking up at 3 in the morning to a bladder infection from hell. It felt like I was gonna actually give birth to my bladder. Usually I have no feeling in my bladder as the MS has taken it away over a year ago. As the next few days progressed the exhaustion set in. I mean the kind of exhaustion that puts a person flat on their back and even breathing seem to take energy that I don't have. My legs are very weak and even trying to walk down the hall to the bathroom is a major feat in itself. We call the doctor on 18th March and he orders the dreaded "IV Steroids" once again. At least this time I have an idea what the steroids will mean. Five days of IV Steroids, followed by 13 days of oral steroids. I am in the big pout mode. I know that for 18 days there will relentless heartburn and I am not looking forward to the IV either from the last time. I know I will be the human pin cushion once again because of my veins. The nurse arrives the next day to start the IV and give me the first bag of "goodie juice" Yeah!!!! the nurse gets the IV going on the second prick. That was a relief. Time to get out of my pity party here and try and get my body better. It was an interesting five days of the IV steroids, either the vein would blow after a day of use or whenever the nurse had to start another IV the vein would blow instantly. My arms are looking like a drug users all covered in bruises. I did find some relief from the constant heartburn by taking Pepcid Complete. When the hot flashes would appear out of nowhere I would come sit by the computer where there is a ceiling fan always on. The second day into the IV steroids I could feel some energy coming back. By the third day my wrist and fingers started to work again. I couldn't hold a fork or spoon in my hand before. I was also starting to walk a little better. By the 5th day of the iv steroids I can walk around the house on my own without using Fred the walker. These steroids are like my own little army fighting inside my body. Everything is definitely much better then before until the 30th March rolls around. My left eye starts pulsing and it doesn't stop. Just an annoyance at first till it becomes very painful. Even moving the eye back and forth sends a sharp pain through the eye. My vision has grey patches in it. Then under the eye goes numb and by the afternoon the whole left side of face was that just from the dentist freezing feeling. This isn't good because I use my left eye for most of my site. Off I go to the doctors again and he says it is Optic Neuritis. I never had that before. The oral steroids have ended so again my body is in battle mode. I guess the relapse isn't over yet.

Lets jump through time a little bit here and it is 09 April, 2008. The eye is better then it was. The pain lasted for 2 days and the numbness still seems to set in. First thing in the morning the eye feels pretty good but as the day goes on the numbness sets in again. The vision has not improved at all which worries me. My eye is very light sensitive. Tomorrow I have an appointment with a new Neurologist that my family doctor recommends highly. The last Neurologist I saw I didn't like at all. He was very rude and used big words I didn't understand . I thought I could go along in life getting my family doctor to treat the MS but my family doctor who is a sweetie told me two relapses in 6 months isn't good so that's where the specialist comes in. I don't want to take the needles. Too many side effects from them. I did make a promise to my family doctor that I would at least hear what he had to say. Tomorrow is the day. I will let you know what happens.

About Me

2008-04-08T09:28:00.000-04:00

I consider myself a "virgin" to the land of blogs. Never written one, but ready to give it a go. I am a mid 40's mother of a 21 year old son and 17 year old daughter. Also a grandma to my 6 month old grandson. My spouse is a wonderful man who is my rock. He helps me keep my sanity through all this and I would be lost without him.

Let me take you back to October 23, 2005. This was my last day of working in the normal world. I used to be quite a productive member of the working society. I was a full time Travel Agent by day and a bartender at a local legion on the weekends. Until the cognitive part of my brain would not function at the level needed to be a travel agent. You can well imagine thinking you booked a trip to Paris for a client and put the wrong airport code in when it was booked and your client ended up in some far off destination. This would not be a good thing. I was a Corporate Travel Agent and a busy one at that. I could see my work slipping, words and numbers I was mixing up. To me it looked perfectly fine. I would always recheck and recheck my work. I loved my job. It was my dream job. I was lucky enough to go back to College in my middle 30's to be what I always wanted to be. Was lucky enough to be employed with a local family run Travel Agency. It was a husband and wife who were the owners. We were all like a family at this agency. Until October 23, 2005. Then it ended. This is when my life changed. I was at that time a single mother of two teenage children who had a mortgage and bills to pay. No work meant no money coming in. Sold the house and moved to an apartment. Met my hubby a few months later moving north and never looked back since.

I have MS. I was diagnosed in june 2006. I can remember those words clearly from the Neurologist. I didnt want to accept the news. I wanted to put his words in the back of head and keep on with life like it was before. The Neurologist wanted to put me on drugs I couldnt afford and the options he had given me were not very positive. So I did nothing to treat the MS I did the denial for over a year, still trying to push myself above my limits, till October 2007 when a major MS Relapse set in. There was no denying this disease anymore. It took over my body and I was unable to control what was happening.

My family doctor took one look at me and immediately put me on a five day regiment of IV Steroids, followed by thirteen days of oral steroids. I kept a steady journal throughout my relapse which I will share with all of you later. Back to the Steroids. There is nothing else that can possibly describe what being on Steroids is like. The never ending heartburn, hot flashes that appear out of nowhere, and the hunger. I could eat anything anytime!!!! The IV Steroids I was given was a challenge as well, as I have bad veins to begin with but apparently people with MS have rotten veins. This meant problems with the vein blowing every time they would have to restart an IV. I usually give anyone the three prick rule. Three pricks with no sucess and its time to get someone else to try and start the IV. It hurts worse when they miss the vein or it blows as soon as they try to flush it. I was lucky to have the IV treatment done in my home by the home care nurses. The first relapse took me about a month to recover from but I was left with more weakness in my legs. I got my first companion at this time. Fred my walker. I thought I would give him a name since he was gonna be my friend in need now. Fred is a very reliable friend, he never complains about being used, and is always there when I need him. He is also very portable. Sort of that never leave home without it. Since my second relapse in March of this year I have acquired a scooter and a stair chair lift for the new house we are moving into shortly and of course my collection of canes. I purchased a hand made wooden cane in February from my trip to Cuba in February. This is my favorite one at the moment. I also have a green "froggie" one which has gotten so much use it needs some wood glue and a new stopper at the bottom of the cane. Who says you cant have adult toys? I forget to mention I am still in 2nd relapse land here. I am still having some Optic Neuritis issues so it has taken me four attempts to finish this blog as my vision is patchy and my left eye gets strained very easily. I will talk more about this 2nd relapse in my next blog.